Craig did a great job picking out his cycling helmet. Blue is definitely his color. We were fortunate to be able to borrow two bikes that had big enough frames for Craig – a trial bike and a road bike like mine for him to try to see if he indeed will enjoy cycling and to get some sense of what kind of bicycle he will feel most comfortable on. He liked aspects of both bikes. While there are many things to still figure out, the bottom line is that he enjoyed cycling in spite of some discomfort from saddle amongst other issues. We road a total of 6 miles on his paved country road. From my perspective there was just the right amount of rolling hills. We went out and back so it is possible that there will be some more challenging hills as we create our loops. We should be able to create 8, 10 and 20 mile rides from here. I think the ride reassured Craig that he will be able “to keep up with me”. I was never concerned about it.
Craig had to figure out how to mount the safety flags on the bike as the mounting device did not fit where it was intended. 3 zip ties did the trick. It is more challenging for me to get on and off the bike with the flag but I will get used to it.
There was more traffic on the road midday than I thought there would be but everyone seemed to be traveling the speed limit and was very courteous. The rural mail delivery person stopped to see if we needed help when we had stopped to make an adjustment.
We will hopefully get the yard work all done early enough today that we can get back out for another ride which was actually Craig’s idea – a good sign.
I previously mentioned that the dog patio was Craig and my second project together. Painting his master bedroom was the first. On my second or third visit, he mentioned that he wanted to repaint his bedroom and he wanted it to be romantic and cheerful. So I go to Google and search for romantic colors and essentially come up with red and pink. Neither were acceptable to him. He didn’t want yellow, blue, green or orange so we were pretty much left with purple. Now that happens to me my favorite color. We went to Lowe’s and picked up 3 color samples and painted on the wall.
We both thought the lower right color was the most cheerful shade. I thought having all 4 walls that color might be a bit much so the wall with the least light would get the lower left shade.
I did the rolling and Craig did the trim edges. As we were covering brown, we had to paint it white before painting it Wisteria. We got 3 walls done before I left for my NC beach vacation. Craig finished the 4th wall while I was gone.
Natalie was dog siting Carli while I was gone and she texted me and asked me why Carli had white paint on her tail. I sent her a picture of the bedroom walls. Her response was “He is all in!!” He is and so am I. I had to go to Iowa for my brother’s funeral as soon as I got back from NC, so I didn’t see the bedroom for 10 days. While I was in Iowa, Craig said he was working on a surprise. When I got there, I found he had painted the bed headboard and footboard to go with the walls.
The ironwork at the top has been painted purple and backed by purple inset which Craig made. A man of many talents.
While this room would not work for many/most couples, it fits us perfectly.
We feel so lucky to have found a partner for healthy, active, aging filled with love, laughter and so many projects to keep us busy.
While Carli has been responding to Craig’s Boot Camp, Buckley has remained challenging. Buckley has a nice outdoor pen with a section that has a nice roof. He has a doghouse and water under his roof. His doghouse has a nice bed (or at least it was before he chewed on it months ago). It still had lots of stuffing and was a very functional bed.
Much of Buckley’s apparent jealously (in my humble opinion) stems from the fact that Carli is a small dog and can therefore sit on my lap and she spends most of her time in the house. Buckley has too much energy to spend most of his time in the house and is too big to sit on my lap.
On days when we both volunteer for Habitat, we are gone 8 plus hours which is longer than Carli has ever been left in kennel so I wanted her to be able to be outside when it was nice as well. Buckley’s pen is big enough for the two dogs and Craig had them in it together for several hours at a time and they did not fight – basically ignored each other so we thought we could just build a bigger platform and get Carli a small doghouse similar to Buckley’s and all would be well.
We worked hard Tuesday and Wednesday to get the platform (which I call the doggie patio) built so it would be ready for Habitat on Friday.
This patio is our second project together and we work really well together. We put the dogs in the pen on Thursday evening for a trial run. For the first 15 minutes Carli sat by the gate waiting to be let out. A bit later when I looked out, I saw Carli sitting in the entrance to Buckley’s house and Buckley lying on the patio.
We left Friday morning not being clear what would happen while we were gone and wishing that we had a nanny cam up to watch their interaction. When we arrived home, we found Buckley’s displeasure clearly expressed.
Both beds had been removed from the doghouses and Carli’s was missing much of its stuffing. We had thought that a small house for Carli would give her a place to be if she needed to get away from Buckley. It never occurred to us that she would take Buckley’s for her own. You can’t really blame Buckley. Now I really wish we could see what really went down. I found more humor in the situation than Craig did.
Buckley was re-homed with Craig when he did not get along with previous owner’s small dog and cat. Buckley’s previous owners are friends of Craig’s and a dog sitting week was extended to months. Craig’s previous dogs had all been black labs and he had been dogless for about a year when Buckley came to visit. Prior to Carli and I arriving, Craig was not sure Buckley was really the dog for him. In spite of the thousands of dollars Buckley’s previous owners had spent on dog training and the considerable time Craig had invested, Buckley would not consistently respond as expected.
In spite of her age, Carli seems to be very trainable with a real attempt at training. I definitely understand that I should have spend more time training her out of her bad habits. Buckley is a bit more challenging.
When pets are the biggest and only real challenge in this new relationship, I will continue to count me blessings and become a better disciplinarian for Carli. She does seem more content when being treated as a dog with clear boundaries.
This falls into the category of something I NEVER thought I would do. This is a bass guitar – 4 strings is enough for me. I was a bit stoned when Craig asked me to give it a try or I likely would have said “no way”. We are working on “Me and Bobby Magee” which doesn’t require that much left hand finger work.
Two acres with lots of trees means lots of sticks and fallen branches that must be dealt with to keep the area mowed. The weather on this Labor weekend has been perfect for picking up sticks and then having a bonfire of the first of many batches. I love being outdoors, sweating and the functional exercise. After so many years of being reasonably sedentary, this opportunity to be constantly active is just what I was looking for…
This represents about 90 minutes of activity – sweeping around the burn site about 50 feet. We attach a small trailer to the mower to gather sticks further away and then bring them to the burn pile to unload.
It was a little harder than usual to get the pile burning but once it got going it burned hot. Carli got to participate in the experience.
Last Saturday night when I heard Craig’s voice – telling me that while Carli had seemed to be doing well in boot camp, he had discovered that she had pooped in more than one spot in his study. I didn’t sleep that well that night worrying about the conversation to come when I returned to Nashville the next evening. My flight landed on time but then sat on the runway for an hour waiting for a gate. [Side note – if you choose to fly Allegiant, be prepared for anything. If departure, arrival time or checked luggage is important, don’t do it. If you schedule is flexible and you only need carryon, then it may be worth it. The flights themselves have been fine – although planes are quite cold.] Craig was sitting near the airport with the dogs in the car waiting. I am not sure who was happiest when I was finally in the car.
In the intervening 24 hours, the carpet had been shampooed, Carli had been lectured in his drill sergeant voice and Craig was feeling less negative about the prospect of Carli learning to behave like a “good girl” DOG – with emphasis on the dog. While I can interact with Carli, I am not interfering in the boot camp for both dogs. Craig is doing a good job of making sure they are both treated “equally”. It is hard for Carli not to have some advantages because of her size. I am doing pretty well at following Craig’s lead. There is a distinct difference in her behaviors in a week. We are both cautiously optimistic that she will enjoy being a pet DOG with good house behaviors.
A compromise – Carli can sit with me on the furniture outside but not inside. It is hard for Buckley to understand not getting on the furniture indoors when Carli does.
I am dressed for a day of yard work. This time I learned to use the weed whacker and I am pretty damn good with the lawnmower now. Picking up the sticks that have blown down off the trees is not my favorite part but it is good exercise.
Carli seems to be less fearful of Buckley and with time they may learn to play. I am sleeping better.
Last Sunday I left Nashville for Sunset Beach, NC and spent 4 wonderful days with the two women I traveled to Krakow and Provence with. I flew back to Nashville Thursday and to Des Moines on Friday for my brother’s funeral service on Saturday and wonderful family time. Today I am flying back to Nashville.
The water temperature in NC was worrying – walking into the water was like barely different from body temperature. Very strange feeling. The first 3 days were brutally hot but the Wednesday and Thursday were much better and we had nice bike rides along the beaches. There was plenty of good food, consignment store shopping, a jigsaw puzzle and many conversations. Easy days with good friends.
My flight was delayed on the way to Des Moines so I had time to have a beer and toast to Terry. His service was perfect for Terry. My brother touched the lives of many and will be remembered as a perfect who spoke his mind; was a gifted athlete of many sports including pool; used Fuck as a noun, adjective and verb; worked hard and loved his family.
Having young kids at the gathering after the funeral is a lovely reminder of the circle of life. These 2 spent a long time negotiating over the cooler of water bottles.
In my nuclear family, I am now the oldest. My younger brother came up to me and told me to stay healthy because he didn’t want to have to go through this again for many years. Fortunately I feel like I am in better health now than I was a decade ago and am planning to stay as physically and mentally active as possible in retirement. Craig will be a great partner in this shared goal.
The weekend ended with what has become a fun tradition with my college friend Deb who has become my home away from home in Iowa. We discovered a wonderful Mexican place not far from her that has a fabulous spicy margarita and shrimp and crab nachos. This was our 3rd yearly visit to the restaurant. We toasted to Terry and plan on keeping up our tradition until we are at least 90.
I feel so fortunate to have so many good friends that have wonderful places to visit. Yesterday I flew to Myrtle Beach to spend 4 days with Mary and Kay my travel companions for Krakow and Provence. Mary has a time share on Sunset Beach and just purchased a condo on the inland waterway on the mainland. We gathered to see her new place and enjoy the beach. While last week felt like early fall, this week is full on summer. Temperature and humidity in the 90’s. The ocean will be enjoyed in late afternoon.
I woke up in time for dawn and a sunrise walk on the beach. It was glorious.
I have had Carli for just over 2 years now and there have been many, many times I have questioned my decision to adopt her. She was a great companion and kept be thoroughly entertained and vexed for our first year. As I started to become more socially active I had less time with her which she did not like and I felt bad about. She gradually developed a playful relationship with Brady, my son’s dog where Carli would stay when I was out of town. I could drop her off there for a few hours at a time pretty much whenever I needed to. Like a child, Carli behaves better at my son’s. He kept reminding me that she is a dog and I have gradually gotten better at being the alpha. Carli and I had a good routine going.
A month ago our worlds were rocked with Match Dude and his very playful poodle terrier mix, Buckley. Buckley is much larger than Carli and Brady so his mere presence bothers/scares Carli – even though his has the sweetest disposition and just wants to play.
Craig is a dog owner and I am a dog parent. Prior to Carli, I would have put myself in the category of a dog owner as well so I understand his point of view well. At my place I have to keep the doors to the bedroom closed so she does not use them as her bathroom if I am the slightest distracted.
Craig’s place is much bigger than mine and it quickly became clear that in spite of ample opportunities out doors to manage her needs, she felt the need to express her feelings about having a new environment by pooping in the bedrooms.
Buckley’s world was upset as well. He was not only having to share his home with a little dog, but his kennel as well. He can sleep outdoors in his pen so Carli would sleep in his indoor kennel which Carli liked. My place is small for Buckley and he cannot really be outside aside from walks. We tried leaving him on my deck for a few hours at a time but that led to a fine from my homeowners association – apparently he is not as quiet when we are not home as he is when we are. The deck abuts a treeline and no one is ever back there so we hoped he would not have things to bark at and could be outdoors which he was used to.
Right before our trip to Iowa, it became clear that management of our dog situation was emerging as the first real complication in our relationship. As my son was out of town the week we were in Iowa Carli was making the trip with us and staying my aunt who really likes Carli and kept her for several days last summer. Since that time, she has said she would have a dog if it were like Carli – a dog who just wants to snuggle up next to you ALL day long with no desire to go on walks or play – Just snuggle and eat. So I approached my aunt about potentially keeping her for longer than a week and seeing if she and Carli could be a good long-term fit. A simple solution to the Carli/Buckley conflict with potentially upsides for Aunt Carol and Carli.
Long story short, the simple solution for me was not the best for Carol so Carli came back to Nashville and we have been faced with figuring out our relationship with our dogs. A quick decision to re-home one or both dogs without a real effort to make it work did not feel like a good thing for our relationship long-term.
This week has been much better – a gate at the bottom of the stairs keeping both dogs from roaming upstairs; a new kennel for Carli at Craig’s and making sure Buckley is in his outdoor pen or inside when Carli goes out to take care of business were simple to implement and it seems to be going better. Carli has not pooped inside the house. Controlling Buckley inside is easier because he cannot get upstairs. Carli does seem to like Buckley’s bigger kennel better and does not like it when Buckley gets in it at night, but she will get used to it as she gets used to this new environment.
The other night there was a split second when the two dogs almost played tug of war so I am hopeful that they can become friends over time. It took Carli a year to develop a relationship with Brady so I think this is going to go faster.
If you ignore the fact that Carli is on my lap and Buckley is lying at my feet it almost looks like they are next to each other.
Fingers crossed that they will learn to get along..
Tamara Unleashed 