Tamara Unleashed

When I embarked on my journey to form the Prevention of Lower Urinary Tract Symptoms (PLUS) Research Consortium in 2015, I was introduced to a woman, a MD/PhD in Preventive Medicine with a huge amount of experience in prevention of heart disease. We met a few times and she “schooled” me on the basics of prevention research and it was clear I had much to learn. Our personalities were very different. She was approached things as an epidemiologist/scientist and I approached things as a clinician/surgeon. With a few million dollars and 50 scientists to lead, I could only think of one person that I thought could be help me lead this group, and it was her. I asked her to come out of retirement to be the Steering Committee Chair (SCC)

Unbeknownst to me, she had received a diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease several years earlier. She was well controlled at the time, but work stress was a challenge for her. I was thrilled when she agreed. She lived near me and we would have phone calls and meet weekly at a coffee shop to discuss everything.

The first year of PLUS was “somewhat controlled” chaos and I was constantly on the phone with the SCC trying to figure out how to manage the current crisis. She was my security blanket as we forged the development of a new area of science – bladder health and prevention of bladder conditions in women. I think we were both surprised at what a monumental task to get 50 researchers to align behind the need to build a good scientific foundation before doing a study.

Somewhere along these months she shared with me that she had Parkinson’s disease and that the in-person meetings every 3 months were causing her stress. We tried some mitigating tactics. I appoint a SC Co-Chair and while helpful, after a year and a half, she decided it was just too stressful for her. I supported her in her decision to take care of herself, absolutely. No one in PLUS aside from me knew about the Parkinson’s disease. I missed her support and guidance immensely but knew she made the right decision and she had gotten the group headed in the right direction. This was 2016. During the time while we were often violently disagreeing we formed a friendship.

Our spouses had both been military pilots in the Vietnam War era. We began to have dinners and do movies and they shared their beach home with us. I decided to start cycling in 2017 and her husband was cycling at the time because his knee did not tolerate his first love – squash. He became my cycling partner. He is stronger cyclist than I am. He has always been very patient as my strength and endurance built and we have had some wonderful rides around DC and some organized longer rides.

We had a great ride again today. I always try to get a photo with each trip. Today we stopped in from of this beautiful mosque on Massachusetts Avenue.

The Parkinson’s disease has progressed rapidly over. the past 3 years since I left DC. It is a cruel disease and seeing my friend suffer so much with not only the movement aspects of the disease but with severe anxiety is heartbreaking. A marriage of equals for 42 years – both using hyphenated last names; raising 2 children with shared household and parenting responsibilities, has evolved out of necessity to a caregiver and dependent relationship. No one wants this but there is no other option. She is at Stage 4 out of 5 for Parkinson’s disease. It seems to be progressing rapidly in spite of great medical care and detailed attention to her medication. Her manifestations are anxiety and intermittent cognitive impairment.

.I had dinner with them tonight. I used the opportunity to tell her how much I loved her and how important she had been to laying the foundation for PLUS. I could not have survived the turbulence of the first year and a half without her counsel.

If you haven’t watched Micheal J. Fox’s documentary, “Still” about his journey with Parkinson’s disease, you should.

Life is not fair!!!!

It was a great day in DC yesterday. Weather was iffy because of intermittent hard rain but I managed to always be inside for the worst of it. I had a 10-12 mile bike ride with Bruce with a couple of long hills which I was able to do pretty easily on his lighter bike – even without full range of gears. We rode in thunder and wind but we got in just before the downpour. I don’t mind the sweating with Habitat and cycling. I have got to cycle more in Nashville.

I then went to Crate and Barrel with friend to look at furniture options for her new condo. I used the opportunity to think through what I want to do with my living room once I get my grandparents dining room table and chairs. My layout is limited because of needing clearance for the door to the deck that swings in. I think I will do a chaise for Carli and I to watch TV on and then I found the great chair that I would actually consider paying Crate and Barrel prices for. This chaise has full storage under it – huge bonus. I am pretty sure I can find something similar that is not quite so expensive.

We then went to have dinner at Maggiano’s which has a killer eggplant Parmesan. We had eaten there many times before when I lived here. I tried to prepare myself for the letdown I might feel with diminished taste, but it was great. There was enough flavor from the bread and oil, salad and marino combined with the wonderful textures that it was almost a full dining experience.

We then went International wine shopping at Trader Joes and found a French, Spanish and my favorite wine label of all times from Portugal. The French labels are soooooo boring.

Got to get ready for another ride. My hand was a bit sore riding without the brace so I wore it for the second half. I had no pain when I was finished so I think I am ready to ride when I get back to Nashville.

On my way to DC for my annual check in with GI doctor. She does a procedure that I cannot get done in Nashville. I don’t mind because it is an opportunity to cycle with Bruce who is the best cycling partner ever and visit other friends as well. I got a text last night from Southwest letting me know that weather conditions in DC may delay my flight today. I had never gotten that kind of text before. They were correct. It appears that we will be taking off about an hour late.

Habitat is “over” until the end of August. Over means that there will be no more opportunity to build with the large groups but there will be a few opportunities to go out for SOS only days or days with individual volunteers versus the larger groups. I worked Thursday, Saturday and Sunday this past week. Saturday and Sunday were pretty warm and humid but I managed it will with hydration and lots of Gatorade.

I will have more time for Nashville Tools for Schools which I greatly enjoy as well – it is just not as active. My wrist has healed well and am I interested to see if I have any discomfort with cycling. When I return, I will get started cycling again here. It will be less warm that being not Habitat build sites. With cycling you are always creating a breeze which makes it more tolerable than walking or hiking for me.

The Gate attendant just announced a delay at the Gate, that was evident on my boarding electronic boarding pass a half hour ago – so I did not need to groan at the announcement.

My adventures on Match.com continue and I seem to be communicating with individuals may not be who they say they are – they give me a phone number that does not exist in the reverse phone number look up. The Match says they are phone verified but that just means they text you and you enter the code. I think I will try a different site after this month on Match. I may be communicating with a real person now. Hard to know.

The adventure continues.

I am so utterly grateful that I was smart enough (6 years) ago to say yes to the opportunity to ride the Natchez Trace. I was already working with a personal trainer – primarily to strengthen muscles to avoid knee pain. I knew I was not “fit” and was clearly overweight. Even though I knew better, I held on to the fantasy that building muscle would eventually lead to weight loss. I got stronger and my knee pain stopped. When I told my trainer KP about the 444 mile bike ride I had committed to, he was ecstatic because we now had a real fitness goal. I was strong when we took off on that ride. I had 40 miles as my longest distance. I was not confident, but I was driven. I rode 400 of the 444 miles. A great personal accomplishment.

However, the most important thing I took away from that trip was the opportunity to get to know so many wonderful people who were living happy, active retirements. Without that experience and subsequent, I am not sure I would have the courage to leave the NIH when I did. My decision to do the 6 week road trip turned out to be the perfect transition – especially since Spring 21 was when vaccinations were rolling out. I returned to scorching Nashville and got Carli. I went to a cycling Meet Up and Danny who has become a great friend. I am going to the “best gal” in November when he married Brent. I had the opportunity to volunteer for Habitat on a VERY HOT day the end of August 21 and got hooked immediately. Fortunately I demonstrated the right qualities to be invited to be a Supervisor on Site (SOS) and returned the next weekend and have not looked back. When that build season ended in November, my Habitat SOS mentor mentioned Nashville Tools for Schools as another activity I may like. And I do.

I have gotten through a kitchen renovation last year and bathrooms renovation this year. I have water damage from my upstair neighbors water heater that needs to be dealt with. I separately want to get rid of more stuff that I do not use and likely need. I want to be settled.

My first flight was to visit family in CO in October 2021 and since then I have flown to Seattle, Krakow, Denver, San Jose, San Francisco for the cruise and Marseilles. I have had multiple shorter car trips in between – mostly to DC, NC/SC and Iowa.

It is harder to build a community here when I am not here a fair amount of time. But in many ways it is harder here. When I travel I have people to be active with and I have a clear reason to get up and going every day. I have activity buddies and I rarely watch TV except when I am home.

Carli is not very demanding or encourage of physical activity. I have been able to stay motivated to keep up with my strength training twice a week. The strength and balance has helped me so much on the Habitat build sites. Cycling in Nashville is challenging and while I could do some neighborhood loops on my own here, it is not very appealing. I don’t feel comfortable doing too much other riding on my own – thus an attempt with Match.

I am going to DC next week and will cycling here with the best cycling partner I had to leave behind. When I return, I will try some rides with the Nashville Slow Riders and reconnect with the Black Girls Do Bike group. It is possible I could find a cycling partner and a separate playmate for adventure and travel.

When I worked, I always knew why I needed to get up every morning and for the most part looked forward to it until the very end. There wasn’t much time to fill with “other” activities. Most travel was work or visiting family.

Filling a day now requires attention and I need to feel committed to something like Habitat and Tools for Schools to get me going. I wish I could bet better at exploring new areas of Nashville or Middle Tennessee on my own. Hopefully I will have the opportunity with Match to at least meet some new friends to do explore the area while we explore a friendship.

I feel so blessed to be in a financial position to be on this journey and that I had the courage to leave the job that was toxic for me. The journey continues.

I have had so much fun with the Spring build season which sadly ends on Sunday. We started with building wall panels for the houses waiting for the streets to be laid and inspected so the pipes could be laid.

Once roads and pipes were done, contractors made the foundations – 4 to start with and then we starting erecting the wall panels and building houses. We are currently working on “final” caulking and painting and cabinet installation so the flooring can be laid. People are due to move in to the first homes in August. There are now an additional 10 or so houses in various stages and foundations continue to be poured.

When we started on the first 4, I got various experiences with erecting wall panels, putting up the sheathing (OSM), taping the sheathing, putting up blue board over the sheathing, taping the blue board, insulation, seal/seal, baffles and finish caulking and painting. As I do not have enough experience with the actual construction of the wall, trestles, dead wood etc, I am charged with supervision of the less fun tasks. Insulation, painting/caulking etc. I don’t really mind but often the volunteers who get assigned to these jobs are less excited.

The contractors are doing the drywall, roofing, much of the siding and the external painting as well as the plumbing and electricity. It is pretty amazing watching all of these people working side by side – at times in each others way to get these homes built as quickly as possible.

I have gotten much better at managing my fluid and electrolyte intake so I can be functional in the evening after I get home. The first year, it would take a full day to recover on the really hot days. The heat in the spring season is harder because we are not used it yet. By the end of August we we starte up again, the 90’s will be nothing – although there will be a lot of wet towels around the neck being used.

Here are two picture from today. The top on is the first 5 houses. The first 4 are painted blue or gray. The tan one is the siding.

The picture is across the street – houses in various stages of construction along a cul de sac. Roofed and wrapped; a new foundation, frames and roofed and there are two behind the truck and trailer that are being framed.

Over the next two months there will likely be days where volunteers will be solicited for very specific tasks which I hope happens once a week. There will not be any sponsored volunteer groups until the end of August. I will miss the exercise and people.

One of the benefits of having dramatically diminished smell is that using the porta-potty’s on the Habitat Build sites is not an issue. In fact, I could stay in long enough to notice this sign and get stumped by it.

Capacity 10 people – now I suppose if everyone was sitting and you could layer them, you could get 10 people in there but it didn’t make any sense.

What it means is that one porte-potty can service the bodily functions of 10 people for a week.

On the recent cruise, the elevator capacity was always an easy topic of conversation – the small elevators all had a capacity of 15 persons. Even in the preCovid days 15 adults that go on cruises would not have fit. You have to wonder how these things are determined.

My carpal tunnel surgery was 3 days ago. It was a piece of cake aside from having to be there at 530 AM. Procedure around 730 and home by 9 AM. My hand was numb much longer than I anticipated but I have had no pain. I need to leave the dressing on until Saturday. I have good use of fingers. Carli and Brady seemed to know I was not quite normal as they were even more affectionate and attentive. Carli did not even get down to eat her breakfast which is highly unusual for her to pass up an opportunity to eat.

I feel bad that I am missing some very busy Habitat build days but as much as I wanted to delay the surgery until July, I am glad that I did not. It is really nice to be able to lye down to sleep again.

CMA Fest is starting in Nashville. Thus far, I have not intersected with it at all. That is about to change. Runaway June is performing Sunday afternoon and my aunt is driving from Iowa for a visit and wants to see them perform. I don’t think she really understands what the crowds will be like but I guess we will find out. It will likely be my first and last CMA fest assuming we survive. Planning ahead for the cruise did not work out so well so I am just going to wing it for this short expedition.

Wish us luck!!

KJ is the woman who got me started cycling and introduced me to many wonderful people on a 9 day bike ride down the Natchez Trace (444 miles) to celebrate her 80th birthday. The year prior to this 80th birthday ride, she had broken both of her legs skiing. She returned to skiing and cycling. A year and a half after the bike ride she broke both of her legs again and returned to skiing. In there somewhere she broke her wrist. This past January she had a bizarre accident when a gate raised so she could ride through it came down on top of her head, breaking her helmet, hip and many teeth. I visited her yesterday on my way from Spartanburg to Nashville. We took a 1.5 mile walk including a steep descent and ascent after to walk around a small lake, She does not have a limp. I was stunned when I saw her walking without a limp. She says her limp went away when she got her Hoka shoes. She has resumed cycling although she used a different route that does not involve passing through the gates. We are celebrating her 85th birthday in October with a bike ride near Grand Junction Colorado.

The drive through the Smokies yesterday was the most beautiful it has ever been. The various shades of green on the trees was stunning. This was the first time I have made the trip where there has not been a major traffic slow down between Asheville and Knoxville.

Brady and Carli were very happy to see me and after giving me lots of kisses promptly pinned me down. I had fortunately went home to unload the car, unpack and start laundry before I went to pick up my little “couch magnet”.

I am already thinking about another trip to Provence in June 2024 during lavender and sunflower season – before it gets too hot.

Kay lives down the street from Willy Tacos. A understated exterior with great food and outdoor seating. I had wanted to go there to eat before we went to Provence but that didn’t work out so I thought we would go there today for lunch before I left Spartanburg. Well, Willy Tacos is closed on Monday. So she suggested Papas and Beer which is on the other side of Spartanburg, but near the freeway that would take me to Columbus NC for my last stop on my return to Nashville. As I was driving up and I saw the purple on the building, I knew this was the right place for today and then when I saw these musicians out front, I knew it was a photo op that could not be missed. The perfect end to our adventure in Provence. If you are very observant, you might notice that the height differential between Kay and I is less than normal. She stood on her tip toes so I crouched a bit. I think Mexican food on Memorial Day will be a new tradition.

I was awake at 7 AM and didn’t really have any sense of fatigue today. We took a 3 mile walk this morning. I used a homeopathic remedy “No Jet Lag” lag on the way home and I think it does help. I slept completely lying down last night to help get rid of the swelling in my ankles from flying and woke up with pain in my right hand. While I can’t explain it, lying down does make it worse. The pain was not as severe and did not last as long. Tonight I will sleep propped up by pillows and see what happens.

It is so great to see Katherine and Jack. Katherine was in a severe cycling accident in January with dental injuries and a broken hip. She is walking without the slightest limp and back to cycling. Totally amazing. She highly recommends Hoka shoes – her limp went away when she started wearing them..

When I was young I remember getting fake poppies every Memorial Day. I have not seen them for decades. There were lots of fields of poppies in Provence while were there which triggered the memory of past Memorial Day. Provence was did not have significant damage in the WW. Francois, our wine tour guide, thought to thank the us as US citizens for saving the area during WWII. This was unexpected.

I am grateful to all those who died in service to this country which is struggling to live up to core principles.

We got up at 230 AM with plan to leave at 330 AM with goal of being at Marseilles Airport at 430 AM for 645 AM flight. We successfully drove our SUV onto the narrow street for easy loading of luggage. While we were very quiet, a neighbor woman seemed disturbed that we had the car there. Both flights were on time. Madrid is a huge airport and the walk was much longer carrying all of my purchases in my carry-on bags. The flight from Madrid landed nearly an hour early and fortunately we did not have to wait to long for the gate to be available for us.

Tomorrow I will visit a friend north of Spartanburg and I will arrive back in Nashville Tuesday afternoon. Back to really life. I am so glad I did not let the episode of pain stop me from going on this adventure. I did not have any significant pain while I was gone – just intermittent numbness. I am looking forward to the carpal tunnel surgery one week from tomorrow.