Tamara Unleashed

Margate City is the second town south of Atlantic City. I am currently staying in Marven Gardens – a piece on the Monopoly Board. It is in the very north part of Margate. The Atlantic City boardwalk extends just beyond Ventor into Margate. Today I cycled from here to the north end of the boardwalk in Atlantic City – round trip was 13 miles. The south end of the boardwalk had limited pedestrians or cyclists and was very pleasant. The boardwalk in Atlantic City had a reasonable number of people – enough where I had to pay careful attention. They apparently restrict cyclists on the boardwalk at the beginning of Memorial Day weekend which I think makes sense. With too many more people, a cyclist can simply not keep tract of all of the possible random motions of the pedestrians so everyone can be safe.

The only other time I was on the boardwalk was after my freshman year of high school when our high school band took a trip to the East Coast – Atlantic City and Washington DC. I don’t have strong memories of the experience except I remember feeling claustrophobic as we drove across Pennsylvania – I was used to seeing the horizon in the distance and there were low mountains in Pennsylvania. I remember “swimming” in the Atlantic Ocean in Atlantic City with vague recollections of the boardwalk. In DC, I remember the humidity and that I had a hard time understanding people when they spoke. The boardwalk was easy riding There was a significant headwind heading south. As I was in the midst of Atlantic City, I couldn’t help singing the tune Under the Boardwalk by the Drifters.

I quit high school band early in my sophomore year (1971) when I felt uncomfortable in one of my private lessons. The band leader started commenting about how I dressed and about my nylons. Believe me I did not dress provocatively in any stretch of the imagination. I was did not have great self confidence but knew this was not appropriate and decided to report it to the Principal. I spoke with the Vice Principal, a youngish man, and was told that I must have misunderstood. I quit band and didn’t think much about it. I knew his comments were NOT appropriate.

After my sophomore year of college, I was contacted by the Iowa Bureau of Criminal Investigation asking for an interview. They visited me on campus. Apparently the Vice Principal had made record of my complaint and the same teacher had been caught crossing state lines with a underage student. It was very odd. To some degree I felt validated and on the other hand I was angry that I had not been believed.

I had not thought about this in years but it came back to me today while riding on the boardwalk.

I made it out of Center City Philly without incident. I drove to the address that I used to live and it was as it seemed from afar yesterday – the building had been updated and a new section added. I drove along Kelly Drive but did not go all the way to 3300 Henry Avenue which used to be MCP Hospital in East Falls. MCP stands for Medical College of Pennsylvania but it was founded around 1860 as Women’s Medical College. The hospital was closed about 2 years after I left. It was a really special place. When I interviewed for the position there in 1996, I could tell immediately that there was something different about it. All of the oil portraits on the walls that would typically be men were women. It was an academic hospital within a community that it served. The focus was more on patient care and student and resident education than research.

I met with Denise and Helen for brunch. Denise was my admin and Helen was my nurse. They were both extraordinary in their roles. It was fabulous to catch up with each others lives and reminisce about our shared experience at MCP. While we are all older and in different places in our lives, it didn’t feel like 19 years had passed. We talked about how we could all work together again in some way.

I spent the afternoon with a colleague from my Pfizer years and his family. His son is about to start his anesthesia residency and his daughter is going to start medical school in the fall. It was interesting to get their perspective on the state of medical in the US.

I safely arrived at my next destination – Margate City NJ, just south of Atlantic City. It is supposed to be sunny and in the 70s for the next few days and it appears like there should be some easy bike rides as well as the beach walking to do.

It was a very special day.

I walked the 2 miles to where my car was parked this morning with trepidation – hoping it would not have a ticket. It did not. I changed out the day pass and walked home.

I decided I would see appreciate more of the city if I were not on my bike worrying about cars and potholes. After brunch with a friend, I took out on foot again to walk the areas I used to walk all the time when I lived here. Rittenhouse Square was as packed with people as I had ever seen it – still maintaining social distance to some degree and probably 60% unmasked.

I walked up 18th street and had the perfect angle on the Wm Penn statue on the top of Philadelphia City Hall – what appears to be an erection is a “welcoming hand” poorly placed.

The building where I used to live has undergone a dramatic facelift and expansion – it has been 19 years since I left so I guess that is not too surprising. I lived in the white building in the background and it had a great view of the Center City skyline. By the construction in the foreground, I think it will not have a great view much longer. During the 5 years I was in Philly, I lived in 4 different apartments in the building. I started to with a 2 bedroom but when the Allegheny System started to go bankrupt, I downsized to a studio because I didn’t know day to day whether I was going have a job. When things stabilized, I upgraded to a 1 bedroom and then back to a 2 bedroom just a few months before I ended up moving to NYC. This was my first experience with high rise living with a someone at front desk 24 hours and a well equipped work out room and I loved it. There was a parking lot with the building so NO STREET parking. It was a great “warm up” for living in NYC.

I walked back through Logan Circle – fountain and the azalea trees were magnificent. I logged another 4 miles on this walk.

I had dinner near where my car was parked and decided to take a chance by bringing it back up to where I am staying to facilitate my departure tomorrow. My fingers were crossed the entire 2 mile drive and miraculously, the space just around the corner that I parked the first night was available. I had won parking bingo.

I am having brunch with the nurse and admin extraordinaire from my practice at MCP tomorrow morning and then meeting up with a good friend I worked with at Pfizer NE of Philly before I head to Jersey shore – just south of Atlantic City. It promises to be another wonderful day.

I am posting early today as I hope I am too tired from too much fun later to be capable of writing a post. I am having drinks/dinner with 2 special friends and I intend to enjoy the evening.

I spent about an hour on computer searching for affordable ways to park my car until Sunday.. I was communicating with another friend about plans for tomorrow night and shared my frustration. She has guest passes for street parking so the car does not have to be moved, but there are for Zone 5 which is a mile and a half away. So first thing the morning I drove to Society Hill and we went looking for Zone 5 parking space. It took about 15 minutes but we found one. I was failed at parallel parking under pressure so my friend ended up parking the car while a city bus had to wait. I will have to go change out the guest pass early tomorrow morning. Tomorrow night I may bring the car to this neighborhood because there is not 2 hour parking restrictions on Sunday. Hopefully I will be able to find a place not too far to facilitate loading the car for departure on Sunday.

Once car was parked, I took Lyfr for the first time since Feb 2020. Fortunately I had a friendly driver who was able to drive through the entire pandemic without getting Covid. He said he never had any problems with passengers not wanting to wear masks – even at the beginning.

It was a gorgeous day for biking here. I took off in search of the Schuylkill River Trail which is 2 blocks away on the map. Trail access as a pedestrian is much easier than trail access with a bicycle. I asked a couple of people before I got usable directions. I enter on the South Street ramp which was easy, but about a half-mile into the easy ride, there was construction blocking the trail with limited detour lineage. I was able to find a ramp to get off of the trail, but it was not clear how much was blocked off and where I could get back on. I rode around and asked a few people and eventually found a way that had bicycle access without stairs.

The trail was nice and there was a fair amount of walkers on the city portion but it thinned our pretty quickly once I got to the Philadelphia Art Museum and Boat House Row. I commuted along this route for 5 years and thought it would be great to cycle along it. 19 years later, I did it. The Stonesbury Regatta was getting set up as I rode away from the city and in full swing when I rode back in.

After negotiating the trail being occupied by many, many young people warming up for the regatta, I found myself on the streets of Manayunk for about a mile. The drivers seemed to be used to sharing the road with cyclists and I didn’t feel unsafe. After Manayunk streets came a canal towpath – much of which was not paved but was hard packed and easy riding. Along the towpath, I spotted a mother goose and her baby geese walking along. Another cyclist coming from he other direction had stopped to watch when a lawnmower came along and they all disappeared into the bush. Bad timing. They were very cute. The towpath was followed by paved trail with almost no pedestrians or cyclists that went on for miles and miles. I rode out a total of 16 miles and turned around. It was an uneventful ride back. When I got back to the access point for the trail in the City, I was confused because there was a closed gate that I didn’t notice earlier. Suddenly a very long train came by on the tracks on the other side of the gate. No one is going to accidentally get run over by a train here.

I negotiated the streets back to my room with less difficulties than earlier in the day. I think Philadelphia had done a good job making an old city as bicycle accessible and safe as is reasonable and I thought the drivers were respectful to cyclists. I will validate this observation tomorrow when I do more street riding around the city. I rode 31.5 miles. I am content with that.

Today I rode 18 miles before I packed up and left Lewes. It was a beautiful day.. There was new yard art today. – It turned out to be a good omen when I found street parking in Philly just around the corner from my Airbnb. I am going to have to move it tomorrow because the streets are all 2 hour parking but it was perfect for tonight. Now I remember why I always preferred to bring the train to Philly from DC. Parking is a problem.

I have lived in many places from small towns in Iowa to Los Angeles, Seattle, Philly, Manhattan, and suburban DC and for reasons that are not totally clear to me, Philly is the place that I feel most at home. I arrived in Philly in 1997 after 10 years in Seattle. I was starting a new position and building by practice from scratch again. There is a lot more sun in Philly the Seattle and that may have been part of it. I loved that the women in my new practice were more ethnically and culturally diverse. Seattle women were rather reserved. There was so much more emotion expressed by the Jewish, Italian and Black women in my new practice. I had a lot to learn and it was fun and challenging.

Philly was my first experience with city versus suburban living and I was in a high rise apartment building on the edge of Center City which was entirely new for me. I moved there on my own. I love walking around the city and after Seattle, it was nice to not have all the hills. All of the historical sites were within walking distance.. My commute to work was reverse of most of the traffic along Pennsylvania Avenue and Kelly Drive which was beautiful most of the year..

Tonight I walked west to east across Philly tonight to a restaurant. Probably half of the people walking on the streets were wearing masks. Many restaurants have built various kids of structures with work metal or tent material to accommodate outdoor dining – using parking spaces in the streets when sidewalks are narrow. I haven’t seen anything quite like this before. The picture below had a series of tables separated by walls. Others just had significant space between tables. It felt very safe.

Tomorrow I will cycle the Schuykill River Trail as it will be less crowded than Saturday. SaturdayI will ride around the City if I feel safe enough. There are reasonable bike lanes and many one way streets which should help. I really look forward to covering more of the City than I can do walking. I want to soak up as much as I can.

Today was a bit cooler in Lewes, DE. We walked Dewey Beach, had a 22 mile bike ride and I got my mat out and did 20 minutes of strength training and stretching. I also spent a fair amount of time looking at various news feeds. I went out to fill my car at about 930 AM and while the station was busy there were no lines. I feel comfortable that I can get where I need to go for the next 10 -14 days with my now full tank.

The bike ride was great. We rode into and around Rehobeth Beach, including by President Biden’s summer home, along the boardwalk and through Cape Henelopen Stage Park. There were really nice bike trails for most of the ride and wide bike lanes for vast majority of the street riding. I even got to see some dolphins playing in the ocean. While there are not many hills on this ride, it was beautiful. I learned today that activity tracker on the iPhone will map the ride – AWESOME.

Tomorrow I will do a morning bike ride and then drive to Philly which is a 2 hour drive. I will have to say goodbye to sweet Izzy. I had a very hard time getting him to pose – in this shot he is sitting quietly waiting to lick an ice cream container.

The only stress I am feeling right now is about finding street parking in Philly tomorrow – Life is Good.

I decided to stop cable service in early April as I was going to be traveling for most of the next 3 months. I spent the 5 days I was back in Nashville last week binging on All Saints and didn’t do my usual check in with the news morning and evening, . I was so focused on getting ready for the trip that I apparently didn’t pay much attention to the news feeds on my phone either. During the long drives on Sunday and Monday I listened to Kristin Hannah’s The Four Winds and was transported back to the 1930s. Today was spent biking and socializing. Late this afternoon I was having conversation with a friend in Hendersonville, NC and she said the whole area was out of gas. I had NO idea what she was talking about. I was shocked to find out the hack was 5 days ago.

During the years I lived in DC, it felt mandatory to keep up with the news particularly as a government employee. Over time I found it exhausting and I enjoyed being out of the bullseye in Nashville. Until today I felt like I knew major things happening in the world. I need to make more of an effort to stay connected moving forward. I will fill up my car tomorrow so I should have enough gas to get me to my destinations over the next week to 10 days.

Today was a gorgeous day for cycling. We had a 20 mlle route planned and 7.5 miles into the ride we stopped at a Herring Point which has beautiful view of Atlantic and the beaches. As I attempted to get off of my bike to enjoy the scenery, I lost my balance and the bike fell over with me on top. This was my first fall like this in several years. I am not really sure what happened althoughI distracted by the beautiful view had a role. I had only a very minor scrape on my knee. However, the bike fell on the side with the derailleur and I suspected right away that this fall had not been good for the bike. It did not appear like anything was broken – just bent. Here I was on my first ride of the trip and the bike was not rideable. Fortunately I was able to get. a ride to a local bike shop – Seagreen Bicycle. Skip was able to look at the bike immediately and get the derailleur back in alignment. Such a relief!!! I greatly appreciated that Skip let me watch him fix it and explained what he was doing.

We modified our ride plan and still got our 20 plus miles in. Along the new Lewes-Georgetown trail there was this fabulous backyard that seemed to have been created to entertain cyclists and walkers. There was so many unusual things in the yard, that you could notice something new every time you went by. I look forward to riding by this yard again on Thursday before I leave for Philadelphia.

WooHoo!!!! I got my exercise mat out of the car this afternoon and spent about 15-20 minutes doing a series of exercises. I think I came up with a reasonable set of exercises that included upper and lower body, abdominals and core. It is easier when my trainer tells me what to do. Tomorrow is another opportunity to choose to exercise and I hope I make the right choice.

I left Nashville about 130 PM yesterday and made it to Durham NC about 1045 PM. I managed to only make one gas/toilet stop. Traveling with a bicycle does make staying in hotels more challenging. There is no easy way of getting the bike and suitcase into the hotel in one trip. I had breakfast this morning with a colleague and then took off for Lewes DE. I intended to take the route through Norfolk and then along the Maryland coast even though going up to DC and across the Bay Bridge was faster but somehow ended up going north through Richmond and around DC. The traffic on 95 south of DC was not horrible. After two days of driving, I look forward to getting out on my bike tomorrow. I intend get my exercise mat out of my car and do some strength training as well. If I don’t start that right away, the mat will likely just be along for the ride.

On my way out of Nashville yesterday, I dropped of perishables at my son’s and took a Mother’s Day photo with my son. I did not know the sex of my child before he was born but I thought/hoped it was a boy. Because of my strained relationship with my mother, I was concerned I would not know how to have a healthy relationship with a daughter. I had grown up being a spectator at my brother’s sporting events and thought I would have a better chance of figuring out a “healthy” mother-son relationship. It never occurred to me that he might not be that into sports. I think we have done OK. I know I thoroughly enjoy being his mother.

Over the years when friends their mother was their best friend or that they shared everything with their mother, I couldn’t even imagine that type of relationship. I know facts about my mother but in spite of investing significant time with her during the last decade of her life, I never felt like I knew her. I even tried interviewing her – she would answer any question I could think to ask her with as few words as possible – no elaboration.

My mom was the second of 4 daughters that grew up on a farm in Iowa. She was the homecoming queen but always qualified this with the fact that there were only 4 girls in her class. She played the clarinet in school. She met my father at church in high school and they dated for a couple of years before he went off to the Air Force and she went to a 2 year teacher’s college.

After she got her teaching certificate, she married my father and moved to California where he was stationed. She taught school and had 2 children during the 2 years they were in California. After my father’s discharge they moved back to Iowa and my father enrolled in college. My mom did substitute teaching and had a third while dad was in college. She lost her mother to cancer just after she had her third child when she was 25. My dad got a job and they settled in town near where both of their family farms were. She did not teach for a few years while she had 2 more children. She was a Tupperware lady during these years. My dad got a new job and they moved the family of 5 kids 3 times in 3 years until they found a place that minimized the time he spent on the road doing soil testing for farmers.

After we got settled for the third time and her youngest was 2 years old, she went back to teaching full-time. I was 10 by this time and capable of helping out a lot at home. A few years later, she went back to school in the evenings to get her 4 year degree. My 3 brothers were in year round sports and she was an avid spectator for all of them. She studied in the bleachers at baseball games. She did at least one load of laundry every day often late at night to make sure all sports gear was ready for the next game. I know she slept but I never really saw it.

She was a kindergarten teacher and we made a lot of bulletin boards with construction paper cut outs. I generally understood my role was to help her maintain the family. She graduated from college the year before I graduated from high school and I was proud that I had been a piece of her being able to accomplish her goal.

She rarely spoke about anything that she wanted except she wanted my dad to stop smoking which he finally was able to do at age 40 after his first heart attack. When I was quite young she spent a lot of time looking at floor plans for a new house so I think she must have wanted one. She wanted a family vacation to visit friends from the service in California and when I was 15 they loaded 5 kids in a station wagon with a homemade wooden car top carrier and spent 2.5 weeks going to California – north to south and then came back though the Texas. panhandle. I cannot even imagine planning such a trip without the internet. We made it there and back with one car breakdown in Utah in the middle of the night. She stayed in the car with us 5 kids while my dad hitchhiked to the nearest town. I am not sure if she was scared or not as we all pretty much slept through it.

Prior to my grandfather’s death, he asked my father to take over his farm that would be co-owned by my mother and her 3 sisters. As an agronomist, my dad always wanted a chance to put into practice his passion for soil conservation techniques. He said yes to farming against my mother’s wishes and she returned to the farm she grew up on at age 40 where she lived for 35 years. I was in college by this time so what had been summer “farm camp” for me was now our family farm. After the move to the farm, she continued teaching which was not my father’s preference. She loved teaching. I think she understood the powerful influence that teachers had on their students and I think she used her power wisely. This power teachers had over young children terrified me.

When I got unexpectedly pregnant during my first year of residency, I understood that she was far more ready to be a grandmother than I was ready to be a mother. There was never going to be a good time to have a child so I decided that it would be helpful to have a young child when I lived less than an hour from very eager grandparents. She was a wonderful grandmother and on more than one occasion, she took sick leave from teaching to take care of my sick son because there was NO way I was going to stay home with a sick child. My son spent at least one weekend a month on the farm with my parents for 3.5 years of my residency and he did “farm camp” every summer until he was 16. When he started taking playing the drums seriously, she arranged to bring school drums to the farm for the summer so he could practice. She spent more time outdoors in the garden that summer.

She had a strong will. She became a widow one month after my parents moved from the farm into a brand new home she always wanted. Without the farm house and my father to look after, her health failed pretty rapidly. After a year in her new home, she moved to an independent living apartment in a retirement community. She decided to take her 5 kids/spouses, grandkids and spouses on an Alaska cruise with some of the money from the sale of the farm. About 6 weeks before the cruise, she announced that she was ready to “go find Dick and see what he was up to”. She had decided did not want to go on the cruise because she would be a burden to the rest of us. There was nothing we could say that would convince her that others on the cruise would be using a wheel chair. Ten days before the cruise she got her wish and died. We had time to have her funeral and get ready for the cruise – which was THE celebration of our parent’s lives – the best gift they could have given us. Staying connected to the extended family was important to her. That week really cemented the relationships of her grandchildren.

Who was my mother? She was a strong, organized, hardworking woman who did what was expected of her – she had 5 kids, supported my father’s decisions and made a few of her own. No matter how long my days were during my career, I never felt I worked as hard as she did. She was a avid Chicago Cubs fan. To this day, I cannot figure out her fascination with sports. Another mystery was her absolute dislike for getting presents for Christmas or her birthday. She liked jigsaw puzzles and Solitaire which are my favorite escapes. She was a early childhood educator and greatly enjoyed her 11 grandchildren.

I think my relationship with my mother was pretty much the same as her relationship with her mother – distant. She never interfered with my life and was absolutely there when I needed her the most – to help raise my son. THANKS MOM!

Tomorrow is the beginning of phase 2 of my “rest and recovery” travel adventure. I was holding my breath until I got through the second Covid vaccination without complication. I am now confident that I will be on my way tomorrow around noon with my first night in Durham NC on my way to Lewes, DE. I will be able to breakfast in Durham with a good friend before I continue my journey.

This week I worked out with my trainer three times and have a whole series of exercises I can do on the road with a exercise band and mat. With my cycling, I know I will not do the strength training every day, but hope I can make myself do it 2-3x/week. I enjoy it when I pay someone telling me what to do – less so on my own.

I was able to move my stuff I don’t need but can’t get rid of from my rental storage unit to my free storage unit in my building. I met a neighbor (with a truck) who grew up in Indiana and is a musician. His wife is going to school to be a nurse practitioner. He helped me haul a carpet from my storage unit that I couldn’t get into my car. When I get back from my travels, I will invite them over for drinks and build this relationship. I look forward to having friendly neighbors.

I sent my tax document to my accountant which was a major goal for the week. I also finished watching a Australian TV medical show that I found on HULU. The series is All Saints. Its first season was in 1998. I started this after I watched another Australian medical series call Offspring which I enjoyed. Offspring had 4 seasons with about 20 episodes per season. All Saints appeared in my “you might like” feed. It appeared to have 7 seasons and I assumed it would have a similar 20 episodes per season. 7 seasons seemed pretty daunting but I like knowing what I am going to be watching rather than going back and forth between Netflix, HULU, Prime, PBS, etc to pick something.

As I was watching the first season of All Saints, I realized I was on episode 25 and went to check to see how many episodes there were in a season and there were 42 in the first season. 7 seasons of 40 episodes seemed like a big commitment, but I was engaged. When I got to the last episode of Season 7, there was no closure and it automatically started Season 8. I then investigated and realized I thought there were 7 seasons because that is all that fit on one screen. There were actually 12 seasons. I thought about stopping at that point. While I had enjoyed the extended period of not having to make decisions about what to watch, my list of recommended shows I should watch was growing. Dilemma….

I decided to commit to the ultimate binge 12 Seasons of nearly 40 episodes per season as a once in a lifetime experience. I finished last night. While the medicine was not that realistic, the show did a nice job of integrating medicine in the social context of the time and in bringing in new characters as other characters left the hospital for various reasons that were realistic. I also liked the emphasis on the important role of nursing professionals. There was one actor that was on the show from beginning to end – Von Ryan, the feisty nurse who had seen it all. They ended the show with a montage of shots of scenes which included all fo the characters over the seasons. They felt like people I knew well. I am glad I don’t really have time to watch anything tonight – I am not ready to start something new and I rarely watch TV when I travel.

From now on, I will fully investigate number of episodes and number of seasons before I start another series. I hope that when I return, the vaccination status will be such that there will be increasing opportunities to build my community in Nashville so I will have MUCH LESS time to watch TV