Tamara Unleashed

I arrived in Fontana on the western edge of Lake Geneva midday yesterday and after getting a bit of a tour of the area and some food, I had a chance to relax before a late afternoon bike ride. Riding anywhere here involves some degree of a climb away from the lake and we did a gentle climb and rode through some beautiful countryside and small towns for about 14 miles.

Today I rode on my own and decided to ride around Lake Geneva. While I had been warned that there were 3 hills on the way out of Fontana for this ride (known locally as the 3 bitches), I wasn’t really clear that the entire route would be peppered with challenging hills. I think I a glad I didn’t have a full appreciation of how challenging the ride would be before I took off. The first 2 hills are appropriately named. I made it up the first, but had to walk a bit of the second and the third was not so bad. I was trying to follow the map on Ride with GPS but it wouldn’t keep up so I ended up riding a route that had even more steep hills than was necessary. I had to stop for breath a few times and had to walk up the end of one more hill. I tried to expand my hill riding skills by slowing down, using higher gears and focussing on slowing down my breathing. By the end of the ride, I was doing better.

I stopped in Lake Geneva for some food and rested for about an hour. The hills on the south side of the lake were less steep but there was a significant headwind. I was exhausted and exhilarated when I completed the ride. I thought I would need a nap but didn’t.

We went to a community pot luck in the park for dinner and then out to a bar on a pier for after dinner drinks. There are very interesting communities around Lake Geneva and I saw a huge banner declaring Trump the winner of the 2020 election – tiring.

I will do a less challenging ride through the countryside tomorrow before taking off to head south. I am having dinner in Chicago with a friend and then will spend the night somewhere north of Indianapolis. I will meet a friend for coffee near Indianapolis Friday morning before arriving at the last destination on my journey mid-afternoon

When I wake up in Nashville on Tuesday morning, I am really not sure how I will structure my days. I scheduled 2 sessions with my personal training for next week so that will help. I will need to collect my mail from post office and sort through it to find perhaps 3 or 4 real pieces of mail, get groceries. Then I will work to find a group of compatible cyclists.

In 1979 after a 2 week rotation on the urology service in medical school I decided I wanted to be a urologist. I went to medical school to be a geriatrician but the pace of internal medicine was slow for me. I really liked General Surgery but never once considered being surgeon. When I had my urology experience I found “my place”. The patients were generally older and while it was a surgical specialty, there was a lot of medical management and procedures that did not involve open surgery. I found the bladder fascinating. I was aware that none of the residents or faculty were women but not terribly worried about that. Most persons reactions to my decision to be a urologist were that I could take care of women and/or children which of course I bristled at. The residency at Iowa had trained one woman the previous decade so I wouldn’t be the first. I was putting all of my eggs in one basket as my husband was in a PhD program at Iowa and I didn’t consider myself mobile.

The Chair of the Department told be about a woman who was in private practice in Spencer in NW Iowa. Dr. Mary Gannon had gone to medical school at Iowa and completed her urology residency at the University of Wisconsin. Dr Gannon finished her residency in 1970 and joined a practice in Souix City IA. It quickly became clear that the situation was not going to be a good one for her so with her sister’s help she opened a practice in Spencer where there was no urology care. She took care of men, women and children and built a thriving practice. Her success was a key foundational piece of my confidence that I could be a successful urologist in Iowa.

I had lunch with Dr. Gannon today in her home in the Chicago area. We had not seen each other in 40 years but had kept “loosely in touch” over the decades. Our paths went in wildly different directions than anticipated. Dr. Gannon ended up retraining to be an addiction specialist and psychotherapist and I did not practice general urology in Iowa. I did in fact end up specializing in urologic care for women and had to leave Iowa to get fellowship training – never to return to practice.

We updated each other on our journeys and spent some time discussing our shared challenges training to be urologists. She had much more difficulty finding a job out of residency than I did. She did not marry or have children so she did not face those challenges. In the end, we each did what we had to do to make it through training. We had a easy 3 hour conversation over lunch. She had sage advice for me with respect to how I approach the next couple of months when I return to Nashville – take it slowly as I create the next chapter of my life. While I had been thinking that taking these 3 months off and traveling as giving me the space I needed, she suggested that I needed to give myself a couple of months in Nashville to work on building my community and see how the seeds I have planted during my travels begin to grow.

I have been beginning to feel pressure that I needed the pieces to fall into place pretty quickly once I get back to Nashville so her suggestion really resonated with me. The last 2 years at the NIDDK were traumatic for me and while I am in a much better place emotionally that I was 3 months ago, I have had a lot of diversions and support during my travels. I need to give myself time to see where I am without all of the distractions.

It was important to me to be able to tell Dr. Gannon how her accomplishments had positively impacted my early career. She gave me another gift with her advice to “take it slow” based on her experience in working traumatized persons who end up with addictions.

I received another type of gift today – the opportunity to try a Peloton – both a class and a scenic ride. I have not really enjoyed the few spinning classes I have taken but have several friends who rave about their Pelotons. I tried a 15 min class and did a 2.5 mile scenic ride. Perhaps it is not surprising that the scenic ride was more engaging for me than the class. The Peloton was more comfortable for me than other stationary cycles so perhaps I can find a used Peloton. I don’t trust that I would really use it enough to justify buying a new one. At least I now know that the “ride” is comfortable enough to warrant consideration.

Tomorrow I am off to Lake Geneva, WI for a couple of days which will hopefully include at least 2 bike rides if weather cooperates. There was more torrential rain here today. Tomorrow, there is a chance of rain until 5 PM at Lake Geneva and the predicted rain for Wed and Thursday has vanished. I really want to finish my trip with daily cycling so I will “need” it every day when I get back. Fortunately, Nashville weather does not look oppressive next week when I return.

In addition to getting together with friends, I had hoped to cycle in Madison area but the weather did not cooperate. I drove through pounding rain Friday afternoon which the area desperately needed. We had a fun dinner at Quivey’s Stable in Fitchburg. I ate fried fish and cheese curds and felt very sluggish Saturday morning. I spent the early morning hours watching the “drizzle to no drizzle” and back again trying to decide if it was good idea for me to cycle around Lake Monona Loop. I eventually decided it was not the wisest idea to go out on wet, unfamiliar roads with compromised visibility and opted to drive around Lake Monona instead.

The Lake Monona Loop will remain on my list of to dos on future road trips. I love eating in local diners for breakfast/brunch so I tried to find one in Madison before I left town. Unfortunately others had the same idea and there were long waits for 3 different locations so I took off for Naperville. As I was not in a hurry, I widened my area in search a diner and ended up at Ned’s Diner in Belvidere, IL. I took state and county roads to it and continued on back roads as far as I could before connecting with I-88 into Naperville. It was beautiful countryside and a relaxing drive. The diner food was great!!

I arrived in Naperville a few hours after the torrential rains had ended. While I had stayed on the outskirts of Naperville with friends many times over the last several years, I had never really walked around downtown Naperville where they now live. It is an amazing downtown with a riverwalk, a old rock quarry turned into a community swimming pool, a community outdoor music venue and much more. Much of the sidewalks along the riverwalk were flooded.

While Sunday had a high chance of rain, it turned out to be a beautiful day for cycling and after looking at the maps of trails on line, I took off to ride through the Greene Valley Forest Preserve about 6 miles from downtown Naperville. My goal was 30 miles and I ended up with 33 miles. I was never so happy for Google map’s as I was able to get “lost and found” in the Forest Preserve many times. I road through beautiful preserve and various community parks along the Dupage River and some lakes. It was great to see so many people out enjoying the nice weather. I rode by a Earth Day Fair – which I presume was postponed from the actual Earth Day in April. Aspects of trails were still flooded on Sunday afternoon.

After the fabulous ride I arrived at my hosts in time to listen to a bit of an outdoor concert of the community band which featured some adult beginners who took up their instruments during Covid. This was their first real time performing together. After cleaning up, there was a delicious rum cocktail – while waiting for our outdoor table at the sushi restaurant on the Naperville Riverwalk. Prior to Covid, I didn’t really like Mules but the flavor of the ginger beer works for me now so I had a lovely Blue Mule. with Sushi. Sushi was followed by sitting on the outside patio of a Mexican restaurant with live music. A 2 man acoustic group played 70’s and 80’s covers and billed themselves as the Best Acoustic Band on the Planet – perhaps not the best on the planet, but certainly perfect for the afternoon. The music was accompanied by 2 spicy margaritas. I subsequently visited my first Starbucks Reserve that serves even more expensive coffee drinks with and without alcohol. I didn’t even know this new type of store existed. There was one more spicy margarita upon returning home while we watched the women’s gymnastics trials. What gifted athletes!!!

The 5 cocktails were injested over a 5 hour period of time and that seemed a perfect amount for the day and the circumstances. I was able to continue a dialogue I had started with one of my hosts – a black man – into unconscious bias and his experiences growing up during the same years as I did for high school and college. He was a athlete – a quarterback in high school and college (during the 70’s). While I can imagine the challenges he faced then and throughout his life, his willingness to share with me was helpful. It is important to hear the individual perspectives of the impact of unconscious bias – things I would not have considered. For example, being invited as a guest into a world of white privilege in the South. As a woman urologist I was often the only woman in the room and knew what it was like to feel invisible or a token. However, I did not feel any internal conflict or anxiety about being served by others that looked like me. But he did.

I hope the telling of personal stories- real and fictional- in all forms of media will open more dialogues. As an example, I was blown away by this season of This is Us. In my opinion they attacked unconscious bias head on and portrayed it as a complicated process. It was painful to watch and I think it is important that it was portrayed as a process rather than discrete problem that can be solved in one episode.

My journey to understanding unconscious bias regarding every person that is different than I am continues.

I have been fortunate to have ridden borrowed bikes in Minneapolis and knew it great bike/walking trails. What a joy it has been to be here with my own bicycle and explore even more. We cycled on the east edge of lake Pepin in Wisconsin on Wednesday and on the Cannon Valley Trail from Red Wing to Cannon Falls yesterday. I rode 42 miles on Wednesday and 40 yesterday and 17 on Friday along the West River Road and East River Roads – the morning before I left for Madison. Aside from all of the wonderful cycling, my time in Minneapolis included a youth baseball game, 2 days in Lake Pepin, an ice cream social, a walk in a nature preserve and lots of relaxing hang time.

As I was leaving Minneapolis, I began to feel the impending re-entry to real life – whatever that will be.

Since I arrived in Minneapolis 4 days ago, I have had 2 wonderful rides – 20 miles and 46 miles, strolled through Wood Lake Nature Preserve, had a quiet day because of rain, visited UMinn campus and Medical Center. I have been so engaged in my rides that I have not taken as many pictures along the way. Weather was in 90’s for the 20 mile ride and in the upper 70’s for the 46 mile ride. Minneapolis has great cycling and walking trail system – wide enough to accommodate cyclists and walking safely.

On Sunday we drove down Lake Street in the areas that sustained the most damage during the protests after the George Floyd murder and drove as near to Chicago and 38th where the murder occurred as we could. Lest we forget. I finished listening to Isabel Wilkerson’s Caste on the drive from Des Moines to Minneapolis. I feel like I have a better understanding of how we have gotten to where were are in this country with respect to race and privilege. I have much more to learn.

Tonight I went to a friend’s son’s baseball game. Weather was chilly for a late June evening – I was in layers but many hearty Minnesotans were shorts and T-shirts. The players were all about 9 years old and pitching was via a machine. Rules were modified for each child to get maximum skill development experience. There were a few girls on the teams. I watched A LOT of youth and high school baseball games with my 3 brothers. It was fun to get back into the rhythm of being a encouraging spectator and analyzing the “batter’s stance”. Beside the game I had great fun pitching to the 7 and 5 year old younger brothers as they tired of the game. I got some exercise chasing the balls. I don’t think I had very good pitching stats.

Tomorrow I am off to Lake Pepin, a wide part of the Mississippi River between WI and MN. We will cycle and enjoy the beautiful surroundings. It is sort of like a vacation within a vacation.

I am doing pretty well at living in the moment and not thinking about my next chapter. I have the logo for my website and much of the writing for it is done as well. I hope to be able to engage my brain in a few online courses about Health Advocacy business before I arrive back in Nashville after July 4th. I have been hoping to do this for the past month so I am not holding my breath. I need another rainy day.

I went to school with Ed from 6th grade through graduation. He lived down the street in the town of about 700 people that we grew up in. Ed was one of my brother’s best friends through school and adulthood. Ed contacted me about 2 months ago with a bladder problem following a knee replacement. I helped Ed understand the what and why of his problem and helped him get the care that he needed. It was not the type of problem that would likely have a quick solution so I was in communication with Ed once or twice a week for several weeks as he was managing his problem with the help of a local urologist. Ed liked to cycle and we talked about how good the cycling trails were around Des Moines and we planned on doing a ride together when I was in Iowa He said the best trail was the High Trestle Trail north of Des Moines and he described the incredible bridge on the trial. I was hoping that Ed’s bladder problem would be resolved by the time I got to Iowa for our ride.

About a month ago, a few days after a conversation with Ed, I got an email from my sister-in-law telling me that Ed had died. I couldn’t believe it and still do not understand what happened. I am heart-broken for his family and close friends.

Yesterday I rode the High Trestle Trail for a total of 30 miles and wished I had been able to ride with Ed. It was a beautiful sunny day. Below is a view from the bridge looking south over the Des Moines River.

The quality of the trail was outstanding. Smooth pavement with intermittent shade. The quality of the paved trail is a reflection of how far back from the edge of the trail the trees were planted. There appeared to be no trees closer than 10 feet from the edge of the trail. There was not much shade along the part of the trail that I rode, but it was the smoothest trail I have ever been on – like a newly paved road.

I look forward to returning to Iowa for more rides, however I think I will take riding RAGBRAI (Register’s Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa) off of my bucket list. The ri is always the last full week of July. As much of the ride would be in direct sun with minimal shade along the route, I am not inclined to expose my skin to that much direct sun. I am glad to have ridden in Iowa this past week to gain a better understanding of what I would be facing with RAGBRAI.

Ed’s life ended too soon. I greatly appreciate that he suggested riding the High Trestle Trial. I will return to do it again.

One of the friends I visited recently asked me where I considered home? I had to stop and think about that for a bit. I was born in California (lived there for 2 weeks); spent 30 years in Iowa; one year in LA; 10 years in Seattle, 5 years in Philadelphia, 10 years in Manhattan and 8.5 years in DC area now live in Nashville. After thinking about it, I said I still thought of myself as an Iowan. I have always been happy that I grew up here and never really had any intent to leave – yet I did.

After being in Iowa for the past 4 days, it no longer feels like my anchor. My father has been dead almost 11 years and my mother almost 9 years. Aside from my son, the rest of my family is in Iowa. I visited my parents’s graves and the house that was my “farm camp” for many summers. I drove the gravel roads and discovered that gravel dust is not good for the locking mechanism on the lock I use for my bike.

The farm was rather unkempt in appearance and the gravel road that goes past it is now a dead end because the small bridge over a small creek was taken out and the road is being overtaken by grass – a bit unsettling. I loved going over that bridge when I was young – I would get butter flies in my stomach. I prefer my memories.

Our family gathering on Saturday was held a a lovely state park and the weather was sunny and hot with enough breeze much of the time to make it tolerable.

The view was lovely and we had space for eating, a baby shower and lots of different lawn games for big and little kids. There was way too much food as usual. It was entertaining to watch a spirited game of kick ball.

Sunday I had a 15 mile bike ride outside of Iowa City – it was hillier than I anticipated but there was some lovely countryside and very occasional shade. It is haying season.

So while the countryside is familiar and comfortable, it didn’t provide the sense of “being home” that it once did. I may be metaphorically homeless for a while.

I seem to have acquired a weird skin infection in the area of the superficial skin abrasions when I fell off my bike on June 5th outside Cleveland. I was in urgent care this morning and left with an antibiotic prescription. The area doesn’t hurt but feels “woody” which really caught my attention. The skin is not worse tonight and may be a bit better.

I have cycle ride planned tomorrow in Des Moines with some neighbors of my brother and sister-in-law. Hopefully there ought will have some shade.

My ability to “control” weather worked out pretty well yesterday. When we went to bed Tuesday night, there was 70% chance of rain Wednesday morning. When we got up, the rain was delayed until 1 PM. We took off just after 9 AM and rode 33 miles through beautiful countryside on paved roads with minimal traffic the majority of the time. There did not seem to be any gravel roads like there are in Iowa. The low traffic roads we road on would have been gravel in Iowa.

After we got started, the skies cleared for a short period of time.

As we hit about 20 miles, the clouds started to build and the rain started as we hit 30 miles. We were soaked by the time we got back to cars but it didn’t matter – it had been a great ride. We all had brown bag lunch together. It was a great group of women who obviously had spent a lot of time together over the past decade creating a supportive community for each other.

Today I left Ohio and drove to Indianapolis where I had lunch with a college friend at her lovely home. After lunch we took her pontoon boat for a spin around the small lake.

The rest of the drive to Iowa was easy – sunny skies and minimal road construction. Tomorrow I will do a morning ride before it gets too hot. It is supposed to be sunny and in 90’s for the next week here. The crops look further along here than they were in Ohio.

The weather today turned out to be much better than predicted. We went for a hike in High Bank Park – part of the Central Ohio Metro Parks system. It is a beautiful park with great trials that are wide and well maintained. A cicada flew into me as I was entering the trail and the sound of the cicadas was apparent. I wanted to see and hear them this year and I hope to be around to hear them again in 17 years.

We then went into Columbus and saw some beautiful old architecture in Short North around Goodale Park and I really appreciated the twin elephant water fountains in the park.

Columbus is a really nice city which is hard for me to say – growing up a Hawkeye fan. The Buckeyes always seemed too aggressive for my taste back in the days of Woody.

I am sharing this bicycle windmill in hopes it is good luck for less rain than is predicted tomorrow for the Yakkers bike ride. This is group of women from this area who have been getting together to cycle or hike on Wednesdays for many years and I look forward to joining them. Fingers crossed.

Yesterday was a beautiful day in Cleveland again – mid 80s and low humidity. We rode 5 miles to breakfast in University Heights and back. There are a lot of deer in the wooded areas in suburban Cleveland. Friday evening, a small deer wandered into my friend’s backyard 5 times. The dog would chase her away and she would jump over a fence dividing properties, walk 10 yards or so, jump back over the fence and come back into the yard only to get chased away again. It almost seemed as if she was wanting to make friends with the dog. She came back again the next morning and then seemed to disappear.

I was able to get a badly needed pedicure (my feet are so ticklish pedicures are almost painful) before driving to the Columbus area (Delaware OH to be specific) to visit with friends from the Natchez Trace cycling adventure 2.5 years ago. These women are examples of how to stay active and enjoy retirement. This rural property has a barn with 3 older horses, 17 – 34 years old), a large garden and is on a dead end road which creates a small community of evening walkers. We walked the road for 2 miles last night and met many of the neighbors. Amazingly I did not get any mosquito bites on the walk at dusk.

Today there was intermittent heavy rain with very high humidity and we did not venture out. I had some additional aches and twinges after my cycling fall Saturday so I used the day to alternate ice, heat and stretching. I think it is better this evening.

Tomorrow will hopefully allow for some cycling and or walking in between rain in the morning and we will be going into Columbus tomorrow afternoon.

Weather is not looking good for the 30 mile bike ride on Wednesday but fingers crossed the prediction will change.

My trip is half over and I have had meaningful personal interactions and meaningful with 28 important people in my life with 2 reconnections via phone. By the time the trip is over, I will have visited with persons from high school, college and the last 23 years of my career. I am creating a tapestry that includes memories of past experiences and creating new memories. I will continue to work on filling in the gaps of the tapestry over time. This is time well spent.