Tamara Unleashed

It is now Wednesday and I have done little of the tasks I thought I would get done on Monday – hopefully today. Carlie is not a motivator – it is just too easy to want to cuddle with her “to make sure she feels secure”. Last week I had 6 days of physical activity in a row between my personal training, cycling and a day of kayaking. The weather was tolerable. This week we are back to prohibitive heat and humidity – even Carli does not want to go out.

I did meet my big goal for last week – getting Carli in her backpack by myself and taking her on my bike for a short ride. It is too hot this week to take her on a longer ride – for both of us. We will spend a lot of time on neighborhood rides that can easily cut short until I am sure she enjoys or is at least content with the experience.

I am not really feeling the loss of work in my life although I know if the right thing came forward, I could easily commit to it and get right back into a job – hopefully with a much better work-life balance.

I am pretty far along in the development of a private health advocacy “business”. I have business is quotes because in order for it to be a business I have to be willing to charge people for my services. This is one activity that I know brings me great joy and brings value to others.

My community building activities here are limited to outdoor activities and it will have to stay that way for awhile. I went kayaking with a person I met cycling and his two young sons (10 and 5 years of age). It was fun to engage with the kids. The 5 year old was a real trooper and the 10 year old was really curious about history.

The adventure continues……

My 14 hours of driving for the Amishland and Lakes Cycling Tour was well worth it. The temperature was indeed in the 70’s with blue skies. I rode 50 miles on Saturday and 40 miles on Sunday. The Sunday route had some challenging hills and I used all of the techniques I have been practicing over the summer to conquer two hills that I know I would not have been able to do earlier this year. I think this might be a good location to attempt 100 miles next year. Something to work towards.

It was like going back more than an 100 years. Saturday the roads were as busy with horse and buggies as cars. Sunday I did not see any of the Amish people outdoors at all. The landscape is much clearer without all the wires running to the homes.

Sweet Carli had good time “in the country” with her co-parents. She seemed to be more active with them – even curious about a couple of toys. She even showed off her howl. She loved their dog bed and super soft blanket. I got her a dog bed and supersoft blanket which she slept in on the way home. She has not really used the bed here yet but we both love the superset blanket.

After cycling this weekend with women I met as a part of the my Natchez Trace cycling adventure in 2018 (444 miles in 9 days), I decided to drive the Trace Parkway from west of Columbia (where Carlia was staying) to Nashville. I had not realized how far west of Columbia the Parkway was. I knew the speed limit was 50 mph which is why it is so awesome for cycling – very few cars use it. The one hour trip took nearly 2.5 hours via the Trace Parkway. It was a beautiful drive and I was amazed how hilly the route was. I am a much stronger cyclist now and am surprised that I was able to do that trip 3 years ago. It was clearly the power of determination and the encouragement of the wonderful group that made it possible. The group of 17 people on the trip were all retired and older than I was. The average age was 72 years. The oldest cyclist was 80. The trip was transformative for me. I got a glimpse of healthy aging and happy retirement. It for sure made me less fearful that I would not know what to do with myself.

I have had more energy for engaging my brain this week and am trying to do one productive thing a day. I had hoped to blog from my porch this morning because the weather has been nice this week. I swept the cobwebs and leaves yesterday and thought Carli would like hanging out there while I worked on my computer and drank coffee. It turned out that she only wanted to be out there on my lap. Given the solid walls of the porch, she cannot see anything. Hopefully she will enjoy it off of my lap over time.

Carli redeemed herself this afternoon by getting in her backpack and going for a short walk without getting restless or being disturbed by passing cars. It took my son diverting her attention with treats to get her into the backpack so I think it will be awhile yet before I am able to get her into it myself and then try cycling with her in the backpack. Something to keep me challenges.

All things considered, I am content with my progress.

I just had an impromptu Thai dinner with my son after dropping Carli off with the couple that wants to be part of the Carli “care taking community”. I have used the past 2 weeks of getting to know and love Carli as cover for my desire to not interact too much with the world. I have acclimatized reasonably well to the heat/humidity over the past month. – enough that I chose to walk the half mile to dinner rather than drive. SCORE

On the drive to drop Carli off, I learned that I need to get her a car seat. She really wants to see what is going on. When I would not let her into my lap, she resorted to this position. While it looks like she was leaning against me, she was really just slumped across the console. She spent part of the tie with her front legs extended so she could see,

By the time I had driven the hour back home, Carli was happy as a clam next to her second mother.

Over the past week, getting her to eat and walk has taken some of my problem solving skills. It is clear she has been trained but she didn’t come with instruction sheet. She ate her dry food fine the first week, but then started eating only once a day later and later in the day (11 PM). She now likes her dry food softener with water. I put water over it and she checks it periodically until it is to her liking when she will eat it right down. She does not walk well on a leash but walks quite well off leash. So far she has not been tempted to run off leash. We have come across a couple of cats and she has ignored them. Off leash, she will still occasionally sit and refuse to walk but much less often than when she is on the leash. When she does not walk with me or respond to cues, I just walk away and when I get far enough away she will come. We definitely will do some doggie training soon, but for now I think we are in a good place.

The reason I needed to drop Carli off is because I have an impromptu cycling trip this weekend in LaGrange IN with a group from Ohio. One person who registered is not able to ride so all I need to do is show up. It is more than a 6 hour drive for 2 days of riding. While it initially seemed CRAZY, when I saw the temperature there is going to be 10-15 degrees cooler than here and it will be a beautiful ride through farmland which is so grounding for me, I decided it was necessary. I had my car serviced this week so I am all ready to go.

Last Sunday evening I went to a live music venue for the first time. My son was drumming for a singer, Hannah Bethel. It was a nice venue, good music and spectacular drumming. It had been so long since I had dressed for an social event that I found it hysterical when after the show and I looked down and noticed the tags from my top were on the outside. I just had to take a photo as I was looking down at my side.

I braved the heat last night and cycled 14 miles with the Nashville Slow Riders. The “feels like” temperature was 100 degrees at 6 PM when we left. It was a new route which was good but I was glad when it was over. My face was still red several hours later. Next week the temperatures are supposed to be in the high 80’s so it will be more normal riding. I am enjoying this Wednesday night cycling group.

I am really excited about getting in the car for another road trip. Hopefully when I return I will be ready to do more community building beyond cycling. I have some leads on organizations to follow up on.

The adventure continues.

We are well – and spending the time to bond. Carli has been the perfect excuse to continue to chill and very gradually catch up on adult things that accumulated while I was traveling. Still not done yet. I am make NO progress on figuring out anything moving forward – but then I am not really trying.

Yesterday I took some pics of me trying to walk Carli. These are her 3 poses for ‘not interested in walking:

It is easier to move her along with her new purple harness. I have tried rewarding with treats but each treat gets us only 3-4 feet.Today she actually sniffed and explored without being coaxed too much. Her eating is a bit erratic. Last night she noticed our shadows while walking and was startled by them. Tonight she discovered she could go under the bed for the first time. We had a play date earlier in the week with Brady and Cinnamon my 2 grand dogs and that went well enough. We had both outdoor and indoor time and she even got to a bit of playfulness.

I went biking again last night with the Nashville Slow Riders – a bit larger group and longer ride than last week. It is a nice group of people.

I met a woman last night who invited me to ride with the Nashville Black Girls Do Bike group tonight. It was a smaller group with a similar route as previous night. I am getting more familiar with the cycling routes in north and East Nashville which is good. I am just going to have to get used to the idea that I am going to have to drive to places to cycle. It appears that I can find different groups to ride with most days of the week once I sort it all out. It is fun to be meeting people.

I had the preliminary visit from the cabinet guy for the kitchen renovation this week as well so some progress is being made.

As crazy as Monday was with feeling of craziness, yesterday was the opposite. I wrote a check for the deposit on my kitchen renovation, I adopted Carli, a 4 y/o 8.5 pound sweetheart. To top the day off I had a great bike ride with the Nashville Slow Ride group and may have identified a partner who is interested in doing longer day rides on the Natchez Trace.

The choice of Carli was pretty obvious from the beginning. She was much more interested in people than Dobie was. She was eager to be held and not fearful of Brady. It was a fun family outing – getting the dog, the trip to Petco and getting training tips from my son. We worked on enticing her into her kennel and that went pretty smoothly. I put her into the kennel when I went to do my bike ride. She went in easily. I was curious to see what the would be like when I got home. When I opened the door, she came jumping off of the sofa. There are 2 options – she is Houdini and figured out how to get out or I did not get the door latched completely. I am betting on the latter. I found no surprises.

I was so exhausted at end of day that I decided to let her choose her sleeping place. She chose the bed. I put a soft blanket on top which she liked for a while and then she found her way under the covers. I am going to have her sleep in her kennel tonight as I did not wake up feeling all that rested.

We had a very quiet day. She is not really interested in taking actual walks. She goes outside and pees right away and then plants her legs and does not want to move. I found stool on the rug twice today – unobserved so we will have to work on taking longer walks without me having to drag her.

She is eating well. She brings a her food to the adjacent carpet where she drops it and eats some of it. In observing her today I realized she is picking out the food that she likes. They gave me the food that she was eating and advised to mix it with whatever food I wanted her to eat moving forward. I picked a salmon and sweet potato formula and she apparently prefers the new food. When she puts the food not he carpet, she picks out the new food to eat it first.

She is going to need to learn manners when I eat. She is very interested in my food. She also has some interested “digging” activity indoors. All in all, I think all is going well with us getting used to each other. No regrets.

Yesterday was one of the strangest days of my new life. I spent the weekend vegetating and felt like I needed to start making up for it. I finished going through my mail and identified all of the “adulting” things I needed to do; did the one thing of highest priority and after having a few conversations with friends decided to explore some new things. I found a bartending course I could take in Nashville and found a couple of hands on courses I could take to become a bicycle mechanic. I got the updated cost estimate for my kitchen renovation which I desperately want to get completed so I can finish getting settled in my home. I went over to my son’s to talk through all that was going on in my head and felt better grounded.

Over the weekend I got presented with an opportunity to join some friends for a week or so in St. Remy in southern France in September. I am trying to say yes to all interesting opportunities. It would be a beautiful place to cycle. I would think France’s new vaccination requirements should make it even safer in 2 months – probably safer than here.

Today I had a conversation with an individual who identifies consultant roles for Pharma companies and this may provide an opportunity to support my fun, use my brain and provide some structure to my life while things continue to reveal themselves.

Tomorrow we are going to meet two dogs and I may adopt one of them. This is a family meeting – my son, daughter-in-law and their two dogs. We are all excited. I miss having a dog to walk and don’t enjoy walking myself very much.

The Wednesday night group bike ride I was hoping to do last week didn’t work because of rain. It is not supposed to rain tomorrow. I am desperate to meet some cyclists here. I drove some street routes yesterday suggested on Google Maps and didn’t think any of them seemed very safe. I need some inside information!!!

Brady went home Friday afternoon so I was “free” to isolate and vegetate – something I knew was coming. I have been on sites this afternoon looking looking for a young adult dog. In many ways it feels like too much responsibility for my currently unstructured life but I think I am going to need something to get me out of my condo. Thus far my Nashville existence has been limited by quarantine. The country “awakened” while I was on the road. Now I am back I a state that has one of the lowest vaccination rates and is in the highest category of reported Delta variant cases in the US. Davidson County where Nashville is has a vaccination rate that puts it in the top third of vaccination rates in the states but has less than 50% that are fully vaccinated. I had hoped to have my 65th birthday party (delayed by a year) in November but I just can’t get comfortable with idea. I will have a party in Nashville at some point, but not this year.

While vegetating I found “Good Trouble” on Hulu. The first season was in 2018. It is a young adult dramedy that is addressing all types of inequity and shaming – race, LGBTQ, ethnicity and being overweight. The writers do a really nice job of demonstrating unintentional micoraggressions. I am getting more comfortable having conversations about inequity. A week ago at a Gourmet Club gathering a woman made a statement that she thought it was wrong that the armed services was paying for gender affirming surgery for active duty service members. As a guest, it would have been easiest to say nothing but I decided to “not let it go”. I suggested that for those of us who feel comfortable in the body we were born in, it is really difficult to understand those who feel as if they were born into the wrong body. If an individual is enlisted, actively serving our country and has a health issue to be addressed, it deserves to be addressed like any other health issue. We also discussed that gender affirming surgeries were not necessarily complicated or expensive. The desire for ‘top surgery” is higher than for “bottom surgery”. It felt like a baby step for me.

I have been reflecting on what I learned on my travels and will begin to share these thoughts as they occur.

• Ohio was the best state for cycling – I cycled in NE, Central and SW part of state and it was great everywhere. This was unexpected.
• Cycling and driving on county roads/trails through cornfields feeds my soul
• While I am a profound introvert, I really enjoyed being around friends. After a year of limited socialization, I was not sure how it would work to be around people every day but it was great!!
• I have so many wonderful friends – my journey included friends from grade school and college through my most recent location, Washington DC. I cannot wait to get out to Seattle as that decade was not a part of this trip.
• I loved being invited into friend’s homes – having the time to have random and deeper conversations than can occur over more structured gatherings. I learned so many interesting things about friends that I did not know before.
• I can make wise eating choices and use cycling to burn calories to avoid weight gain
• I am very tired of not having normal taste and smell. I don’t think it has recovered much in the last 6 weeks. I taste spicy, vinegary, and citrus pretty reliably as well as chocolate and strong coffee. I can taste some red and white wines well and others not at all. While I am grateful that I do not have residual fatigue or cardiac or respiratory challenges, I do hope to recover more taste/smell over time.

I have avoided “adulating” the past several days and need to start taking care of few things tomorrow – wish me luck!!

Over the past week, the “future” started to creep into my thoughts more and more, but the incredible cycling and fun kept it pretty much out of mind until the 6 hour drive from Greenville OH to Nashville. I arrived back in Nashville about 715 PM Monday evening, unloaded my car and went to pick up my grand puppy for a few days of dog sitting.

The heat and humidity felt immediately oppressive. I picked up mail that had been held for 2 months and as I expected there were no more than a half a dozen envelopes that had anything of value. The amount of mail was actually less than I thought I would have to go through. I will make a recycling run tomorrow to get rid of it.

Here is the photo from July 3rd preparing for the actual holiday –

The 4th included another bike ride. from Tripp City to just north of Dayton along a mostly shaded trail. We came back to another float on the pond, followed by dinner and going into Greenville for fireworks. We sat in the back of the pickup to watch the fireworks and were not bothered by insects at all.

For a small town celebration, the fireworks were amazing. This is a shot from the finale. We were close enough that we could feel the heat from some of the fireworks that were closer to the ground.

Monday morning we visited a very large Amish market in Fountain City Indiana. They had an amazing array of outdoor furniture made from recycle products. This porch swing was appealing and would brighten up my deck.

I am partially unpacked and a bit a loose ends. I am experiencing an big emotional let down which is not at all surprising. I am so grateful for the advice from Dr. Gannon to give myself some time to figure next steps out. Dog sitting is good as it forces me to get outside. I met Derrick and his dog Lucy on our morning walk.

I am so excited that I am making my first contact with Nashville cyclists tonight at the Wed evening “meet up” ride of the Nashville Slow Riders.

Mostly over the next couple of weeks I want to take time to fully reflect on all that I experienced and learned about myself and others over the past 3 months. This trip was such a gift in so many ways.

I am home, safe and grateful.

r.Today was another spectacular weather day – cloudless blue skies, high 70’s and low humidity. As we prepared to cycle into Greenville to pick up a trail, I realized I had a flat tire. Fortunately the local shop was open and the tube was replaced and we were on the road within an hour. We rode about 15 miles taking a break at some friends before turning around. We rode back through Greenville and stopped at a Mexican place for a snack. We were debating whether it was a good idea to have a margarita before we finished the ride and reached consensus that it was. Little did we know that the Saturday special is $13.99 pitchers of margaritas. That was less than the price of a one margarita for each us so what were we supposed to do????? We were sitting outside on a beautiful day in the 70’s with low humidity on July 3rd. When was this ever going to happen again? A celebration was in order.

We got the pitcher, some great nachos and slowly drank our pitcher.. I felt a little buzzed as we left. We rode through the Darke County Fair Grounds and found a locked gate on the other side. We had to lift the bikes over the gate and crawl over. I cannot remember the last time I crawled over a gate. Fortunately, I remembered the correct technique and made it over safely in my cycling shoes. The gate was metal so there were no splinters.

We rode the 4 miles home and decided to float on the pond in lounge chairs. Normally I do not combine water and bright midafternoon sun but I had gotten a long sleeve swim top with capri length bottoms last year for just this sort of occasion. I had been carrying them around the entire trip so this was the day to try them. I reapplied SPF 100 sun block on exposed skin and hoped for the best. We spent over an hour in total relaxation and I did not have any redness from the sun except on my nose where I forgot to reapply sunscreen. A total success.

Tonight we went to a Gourmet Club – every couple brings a dish assigned by the host. This group of friends has been getting together for 35 years – which is hard for me to imagine having moved around so much. It was a perfect evening for an outdoor gathering. I am not sure what the hosts did, but there were no bugs as we sat outside for 3 hours.

I hear fireworks in the distance as the cool breeze comes in the open window. Tomorrow is supposed to be 90 so our ride will be a bit more taxing but with a pond to jump into when we return – who cares!!!!

Happy July 4th!!

Yesterday began with a 30 mile bike ride through Wisconsin country side with way less challenging hills. My goal was to ride from Fontana to Sharon (about 10 miles) have breakfast at the Coffee Cup and ride back. When I got to Sharon, I wasn’t ready to stop so I decided to do a 4 mile loop out through the countryside – which ended up being a 10 mile loop.

There was significant headwind on the ride back and I felt well-exercised. After cleaning up I tried out one more great place to eat in Lake Geneva before packing up and heading to Chicago to meet a friend for dinner. I spent just over an hour going 12 miles – traffic was moving – just very slowly. It was a lovely meal and then I took off for Lafayette,IN where I spent the night. I met a friend in Indianapolis for breakfast and arrived on this lovely acreage outside of Greenville around noon. The drive was beautiful through the country side.

The clouds were absolutely stunning most of the day. After lunch went to the Garst Museum in Greenville which is really well done. This is Annie Oakley’s birthplace and there is a large exhibit on her life and an exhibit on Lowell Thomas, the CBS Radio News commentator. There were many other exhibits regarding the inhabitants of Darke County Ohio – indigenous to more recent. I thought the museum was very well done.

Tomorrow will be a beautiful day for cycling – high of 79. Sunday and Monday will be warmer high of 90. I can’t wait to get out on the roads/trails in this area.