Tamara Unleashed

Brady went home Friday afternoon so I was “free” to isolate and vegetate – something I knew was coming. I have been on sites this afternoon looking looking for a young adult dog. In many ways it feels like too much responsibility for my currently unstructured life but I think I am going to need something to get me out of my condo. Thus far my Nashville existence has been limited by quarantine. The country “awakened” while I was on the road. Now I am back I a state that has one of the lowest vaccination rates and is in the highest category of reported Delta variant cases in the US. Davidson County where Nashville is has a vaccination rate that puts it in the top third of vaccination rates in the states but has less than 50% that are fully vaccinated. I had hoped to have my 65th birthday party (delayed by a year) in November but I just can’t get comfortable with idea. I will have a party in Nashville at some point, but not this year.

While vegetating I found “Good Trouble” on Hulu. The first season was in 2018. It is a young adult dramedy that is addressing all types of inequity and shaming – race, LGBTQ, ethnicity and being overweight. The writers do a really nice job of demonstrating unintentional micoraggressions. I am getting more comfortable having conversations about inequity. A week ago at a Gourmet Club gathering a woman made a statement that she thought it was wrong that the armed services was paying for gender affirming surgery for active duty service members. As a guest, it would have been easiest to say nothing but I decided to “not let it go”. I suggested that for those of us who feel comfortable in the body we were born in, it is really difficult to understand those who feel as if they were born into the wrong body. If an individual is enlisted, actively serving our country and has a health issue to be addressed, it deserves to be addressed like any other health issue. We also discussed that gender affirming surgeries were not necessarily complicated or expensive. The desire for ‘top surgery” is higher than for “bottom surgery”. It felt like a baby step for me.

I have been reflecting on what I learned on my travels and will begin to share these thoughts as they occur.

• Ohio was the best state for cycling – I cycled in NE, Central and SW part of state and it was great everywhere. This was unexpected.
• Cycling and driving on county roads/trails through cornfields feeds my soul
• While I am a profound introvert, I really enjoyed being around friends. After a year of limited socialization, I was not sure how it would work to be around people every day but it was great!!
• I have so many wonderful friends – my journey included friends from grade school and college through my most recent location, Washington DC. I cannot wait to get out to Seattle as that decade was not a part of this trip.
• I loved being invited into friend’s homes – having the time to have random and deeper conversations than can occur over more structured gatherings. I learned so many interesting things about friends that I did not know before.
• I can make wise eating choices and use cycling to burn calories to avoid weight gain
• I am very tired of not having normal taste and smell. I don’t think it has recovered much in the last 6 weeks. I taste spicy, vinegary, and citrus pretty reliably as well as chocolate and strong coffee. I can taste some red and white wines well and others not at all. While I am grateful that I do not have residual fatigue or cardiac or respiratory challenges, I do hope to recover more taste/smell over time.

I have avoided “adulating” the past several days and need to start taking care of few things tomorrow – wish me luck!!

Over the past week, the “future” started to creep into my thoughts more and more, but the incredible cycling and fun kept it pretty much out of mind until the 6 hour drive from Greenville OH to Nashville. I arrived back in Nashville about 715 PM Monday evening, unloaded my car and went to pick up my grand puppy for a few days of dog sitting.

The heat and humidity felt immediately oppressive. I picked up mail that had been held for 2 months and as I expected there were no more than a half a dozen envelopes that had anything of value. The amount of mail was actually less than I thought I would have to go through. I will make a recycling run tomorrow to get rid of it.

Here is the photo from July 3rd preparing for the actual holiday –

The 4th included another bike ride. from Tripp City to just north of Dayton along a mostly shaded trail. We came back to another float on the pond, followed by dinner and going into Greenville for fireworks. We sat in the back of the pickup to watch the fireworks and were not bothered by insects at all.

For a small town celebration, the fireworks were amazing. This is a shot from the finale. We were close enough that we could feel the heat from some of the fireworks that were closer to the ground.

Monday morning we visited a very large Amish market in Fountain City Indiana. They had an amazing array of outdoor furniture made from recycle products. This porch swing was appealing and would brighten up my deck.

I am partially unpacked and a bit a loose ends. I am experiencing an big emotional let down which is not at all surprising. I am so grateful for the advice from Dr. Gannon to give myself some time to figure next steps out. Dog sitting is good as it forces me to get outside. I met Derrick and his dog Lucy on our morning walk.

I am so excited that I am making my first contact with Nashville cyclists tonight at the Wed evening “meet up” ride of the Nashville Slow Riders.

Mostly over the next couple of weeks I want to take time to fully reflect on all that I experienced and learned about myself and others over the past 3 months. This trip was such a gift in so many ways.

I am home, safe and grateful.

r.Today was another spectacular weather day – cloudless blue skies, high 70’s and low humidity. As we prepared to cycle into Greenville to pick up a trail, I realized I had a flat tire. Fortunately the local shop was open and the tube was replaced and we were on the road within an hour. We rode about 15 miles taking a break at some friends before turning around. We rode back through Greenville and stopped at a Mexican place for a snack. We were debating whether it was a good idea to have a margarita before we finished the ride and reached consensus that it was. Little did we know that the Saturday special is $13.99 pitchers of margaritas. That was less than the price of a one margarita for each us so what were we supposed to do????? We were sitting outside on a beautiful day in the 70’s with low humidity on July 3rd. When was this ever going to happen again? A celebration was in order.

We got the pitcher, some great nachos and slowly drank our pitcher.. I felt a little buzzed as we left. We rode through the Darke County Fair Grounds and found a locked gate on the other side. We had to lift the bikes over the gate and crawl over. I cannot remember the last time I crawled over a gate. Fortunately, I remembered the correct technique and made it over safely in my cycling shoes. The gate was metal so there were no splinters.

We rode the 4 miles home and decided to float on the pond in lounge chairs. Normally I do not combine water and bright midafternoon sun but I had gotten a long sleeve swim top with capri length bottoms last year for just this sort of occasion. I had been carrying them around the entire trip so this was the day to try them. I reapplied SPF 100 sun block on exposed skin and hoped for the best. We spent over an hour in total relaxation and I did not have any redness from the sun except on my nose where I forgot to reapply sunscreen. A total success.

Tonight we went to a Gourmet Club – every couple brings a dish assigned by the host. This group of friends has been getting together for 35 years – which is hard for me to imagine having moved around so much. It was a perfect evening for an outdoor gathering. I am not sure what the hosts did, but there were no bugs as we sat outside for 3 hours.

I hear fireworks in the distance as the cool breeze comes in the open window. Tomorrow is supposed to be 90 so our ride will be a bit more taxing but with a pond to jump into when we return – who cares!!!!

Happy July 4th!!

Yesterday began with a 30 mile bike ride through Wisconsin country side with way less challenging hills. My goal was to ride from Fontana to Sharon (about 10 miles) have breakfast at the Coffee Cup and ride back. When I got to Sharon, I wasn’t ready to stop so I decided to do a 4 mile loop out through the countryside – which ended up being a 10 mile loop.

There was significant headwind on the ride back and I felt well-exercised. After cleaning up I tried out one more great place to eat in Lake Geneva before packing up and heading to Chicago to meet a friend for dinner. I spent just over an hour going 12 miles – traffic was moving – just very slowly. It was a lovely meal and then I took off for Lafayette,IN where I spent the night. I met a friend in Indianapolis for breakfast and arrived on this lovely acreage outside of Greenville around noon. The drive was beautiful through the country side.

The clouds were absolutely stunning most of the day. After lunch went to the Garst Museum in Greenville which is really well done. This is Annie Oakley’s birthplace and there is a large exhibit on her life and an exhibit on Lowell Thomas, the CBS Radio News commentator. There were many other exhibits regarding the inhabitants of Darke County Ohio – indigenous to more recent. I thought the museum was very well done.

Tomorrow will be a beautiful day for cycling – high of 79. Sunday and Monday will be warmer high of 90. I can’t wait to get out on the roads/trails in this area.

I arrived in Fontana on the western edge of Lake Geneva midday yesterday and after getting a bit of a tour of the area and some food, I had a chance to relax before a late afternoon bike ride. Riding anywhere here involves some degree of a climb away from the lake and we did a gentle climb and rode through some beautiful countryside and small towns for about 14 miles.

Today I rode on my own and decided to ride around Lake Geneva. While I had been warned that there were 3 hills on the way out of Fontana for this ride (known locally as the 3 bitches), I wasn’t really clear that the entire route would be peppered with challenging hills. I think I a glad I didn’t have a full appreciation of how challenging the ride would be before I took off. The first 2 hills are appropriately named. I made it up the first, but had to walk a bit of the second and the third was not so bad. I was trying to follow the map on Ride with GPS but it wouldn’t keep up so I ended up riding a route that had even more steep hills than was necessary. I had to stop for breath a few times and had to walk up the end of one more hill. I tried to expand my hill riding skills by slowing down, using higher gears and focussing on slowing down my breathing. By the end of the ride, I was doing better.

I stopped in Lake Geneva for some food and rested for about an hour. The hills on the south side of the lake were less steep but there was a significant headwind. I was exhausted and exhilarated when I completed the ride. I thought I would need a nap but didn’t.

We went to a community pot luck in the park for dinner and then out to a bar on a pier for after dinner drinks. There are very interesting communities around Lake Geneva and I saw a huge banner declaring Trump the winner of the 2020 election – tiring.

I will do a less challenging ride through the countryside tomorrow before taking off to head south. I am having dinner in Chicago with a friend and then will spend the night somewhere north of Indianapolis. I will meet a friend for coffee near Indianapolis Friday morning before arriving at the last destination on my journey mid-afternoon

When I wake up in Nashville on Tuesday morning, I am really not sure how I will structure my days. I scheduled 2 sessions with my personal training for next week so that will help. I will need to collect my mail from post office and sort through it to find perhaps 3 or 4 real pieces of mail, get groceries. Then I will work to find a group of compatible cyclists.

In 1979 after a 2 week rotation on the urology service in medical school I decided I wanted to be a urologist. I went to medical school to be a geriatrician but the pace of internal medicine was slow for me. I really liked General Surgery but never once considered being surgeon. When I had my urology experience I found “my place”. The patients were generally older and while it was a surgical specialty, there was a lot of medical management and procedures that did not involve open surgery. I found the bladder fascinating. I was aware that none of the residents or faculty were women but not terribly worried about that. Most persons reactions to my decision to be a urologist were that I could take care of women and/or children which of course I bristled at. The residency at Iowa had trained one woman the previous decade so I wouldn’t be the first. I was putting all of my eggs in one basket as my husband was in a PhD program at Iowa and I didn’t consider myself mobile.

The Chair of the Department told be about a woman who was in private practice in Spencer in NW Iowa. Dr. Mary Gannon had gone to medical school at Iowa and completed her urology residency at the University of Wisconsin. Dr Gannon finished her residency in 1970 and joined a practice in Souix City IA. It quickly became clear that the situation was not going to be a good one for her so with her sister’s help she opened a practice in Spencer where there was no urology care. She took care of men, women and children and built a thriving practice. Her success was a key foundational piece of my confidence that I could be a successful urologist in Iowa.

I had lunch with Dr. Gannon today in her home in the Chicago area. We had not seen each other in 40 years but had kept “loosely in touch” over the decades. Our paths went in wildly different directions than anticipated. Dr. Gannon ended up retraining to be an addiction specialist and psychotherapist and I did not practice general urology in Iowa. I did in fact end up specializing in urologic care for women and had to leave Iowa to get fellowship training – never to return to practice.

We updated each other on our journeys and spent some time discussing our shared challenges training to be urologists. She had much more difficulty finding a job out of residency than I did. She did not marry or have children so she did not face those challenges. In the end, we each did what we had to do to make it through training. We had a easy 3 hour conversation over lunch. She had sage advice for me with respect to how I approach the next couple of months when I return to Nashville – take it slowly as I create the next chapter of my life. While I had been thinking that taking these 3 months off and traveling as giving me the space I needed, she suggested that I needed to give myself a couple of months in Nashville to work on building my community and see how the seeds I have planted during my travels begin to grow.

I have been beginning to feel pressure that I needed the pieces to fall into place pretty quickly once I get back to Nashville so her suggestion really resonated with me. The last 2 years at the NIDDK were traumatic for me and while I am in a much better place emotionally that I was 3 months ago, I have had a lot of diversions and support during my travels. I need to give myself time to see where I am without all of the distractions.

It was important to me to be able to tell Dr. Gannon how her accomplishments had positively impacted my early career. She gave me another gift with her advice to “take it slow” based on her experience in working traumatized persons who end up with addictions.

I received another type of gift today – the opportunity to try a Peloton – both a class and a scenic ride. I have not really enjoyed the few spinning classes I have taken but have several friends who rave about their Pelotons. I tried a 15 min class and did a 2.5 mile scenic ride. Perhaps it is not surprising that the scenic ride was more engaging for me than the class. The Peloton was more comfortable for me than other stationary cycles so perhaps I can find a used Peloton. I don’t trust that I would really use it enough to justify buying a new one. At least I now know that the “ride” is comfortable enough to warrant consideration.

Tomorrow I am off to Lake Geneva, WI for a couple of days which will hopefully include at least 2 bike rides if weather cooperates. There was more torrential rain here today. Tomorrow, there is a chance of rain until 5 PM at Lake Geneva and the predicted rain for Wed and Thursday has vanished. I really want to finish my trip with daily cycling so I will “need” it every day when I get back. Fortunately, Nashville weather does not look oppressive next week when I return.

In addition to getting together with friends, I had hoped to cycle in Madison area but the weather did not cooperate. I drove through pounding rain Friday afternoon which the area desperately needed. We had a fun dinner at Quivey’s Stable in Fitchburg. I ate fried fish and cheese curds and felt very sluggish Saturday morning. I spent the early morning hours watching the “drizzle to no drizzle” and back again trying to decide if it was good idea for me to cycle around Lake Monona Loop. I eventually decided it was not the wisest idea to go out on wet, unfamiliar roads with compromised visibility and opted to drive around Lake Monona instead.

The Lake Monona Loop will remain on my list of to dos on future road trips. I love eating in local diners for breakfast/brunch so I tried to find one in Madison before I left town. Unfortunately others had the same idea and there were long waits for 3 different locations so I took off for Naperville. As I was not in a hurry, I widened my area in search a diner and ended up at Ned’s Diner in Belvidere, IL. I took state and county roads to it and continued on back roads as far as I could before connecting with I-88 into Naperville. It was beautiful countryside and a relaxing drive. The diner food was great!!

I arrived in Naperville a few hours after the torrential rains had ended. While I had stayed on the outskirts of Naperville with friends many times over the last several years, I had never really walked around downtown Naperville where they now live. It is an amazing downtown with a riverwalk, a old rock quarry turned into a community swimming pool, a community outdoor music venue and much more. Much of the sidewalks along the riverwalk were flooded.

While Sunday had a high chance of rain, it turned out to be a beautiful day for cycling and after looking at the maps of trails on line, I took off to ride through the Greene Valley Forest Preserve about 6 miles from downtown Naperville. My goal was 30 miles and I ended up with 33 miles. I was never so happy for Google map’s as I was able to get “lost and found” in the Forest Preserve many times. I road through beautiful preserve and various community parks along the Dupage River and some lakes. It was great to see so many people out enjoying the nice weather. I rode by a Earth Day Fair – which I presume was postponed from the actual Earth Day in April. Aspects of trails were still flooded on Sunday afternoon.

After the fabulous ride I arrived at my hosts in time to listen to a bit of an outdoor concert of the community band which featured some adult beginners who took up their instruments during Covid. This was their first real time performing together. After cleaning up, there was a delicious rum cocktail – while waiting for our outdoor table at the sushi restaurant on the Naperville Riverwalk. Prior to Covid, I didn’t really like Mules but the flavor of the ginger beer works for me now so I had a lovely Blue Mule. with Sushi. Sushi was followed by sitting on the outside patio of a Mexican restaurant with live music. A 2 man acoustic group played 70’s and 80’s covers and billed themselves as the Best Acoustic Band on the Planet – perhaps not the best on the planet, but certainly perfect for the afternoon. The music was accompanied by 2 spicy margaritas. I subsequently visited my first Starbucks Reserve that serves even more expensive coffee drinks with and without alcohol. I didn’t even know this new type of store existed. There was one more spicy margarita upon returning home while we watched the women’s gymnastics trials. What gifted athletes!!!

The 5 cocktails were injested over a 5 hour period of time and that seemed a perfect amount for the day and the circumstances. I was able to continue a dialogue I had started with one of my hosts – a black man – into unconscious bias and his experiences growing up during the same years as I did for high school and college. He was a athlete – a quarterback in high school and college (during the 70’s). While I can imagine the challenges he faced then and throughout his life, his willingness to share with me was helpful. It is important to hear the individual perspectives of the impact of unconscious bias – things I would not have considered. For example, being invited as a guest into a world of white privilege in the South. As a woman urologist I was often the only woman in the room and knew what it was like to feel invisible or a token. However, I did not feel any internal conflict or anxiety about being served by others that looked like me. But he did.

I hope the telling of personal stories- real and fictional- in all forms of media will open more dialogues. As an example, I was blown away by this season of This is Us. In my opinion they attacked unconscious bias head on and portrayed it as a complicated process. It was painful to watch and I think it is important that it was portrayed as a process rather than discrete problem that can be solved in one episode.

My journey to understanding unconscious bias regarding every person that is different than I am continues.

I have been fortunate to have ridden borrowed bikes in Minneapolis and knew it great bike/walking trails. What a joy it has been to be here with my own bicycle and explore even more. We cycled on the east edge of lake Pepin in Wisconsin on Wednesday and on the Cannon Valley Trail from Red Wing to Cannon Falls yesterday. I rode 42 miles on Wednesday and 40 yesterday and 17 on Friday along the West River Road and East River Roads – the morning before I left for Madison. Aside from all of the wonderful cycling, my time in Minneapolis included a youth baseball game, 2 days in Lake Pepin, an ice cream social, a walk in a nature preserve and lots of relaxing hang time.

As I was leaving Minneapolis, I began to feel the impending re-entry to real life – whatever that will be.

Since I arrived in Minneapolis 4 days ago, I have had 2 wonderful rides – 20 miles and 46 miles, strolled through Wood Lake Nature Preserve, had a quiet day because of rain, visited UMinn campus and Medical Center. I have been so engaged in my rides that I have not taken as many pictures along the way. Weather was in 90’s for the 20 mile ride and in the upper 70’s for the 46 mile ride. Minneapolis has great cycling and walking trail system – wide enough to accommodate cyclists and walking safely.

On Sunday we drove down Lake Street in the areas that sustained the most damage during the protests after the George Floyd murder and drove as near to Chicago and 38th where the murder occurred as we could. Lest we forget. I finished listening to Isabel Wilkerson’s Caste on the drive from Des Moines to Minneapolis. I feel like I have a better understanding of how we have gotten to where were are in this country with respect to race and privilege. I have much more to learn.

Tonight I went to a friend’s son’s baseball game. Weather was chilly for a late June evening – I was in layers but many hearty Minnesotans were shorts and T-shirts. The players were all about 9 years old and pitching was via a machine. Rules were modified for each child to get maximum skill development experience. There were a few girls on the teams. I watched A LOT of youth and high school baseball games with my 3 brothers. It was fun to get back into the rhythm of being a encouraging spectator and analyzing the “batter’s stance”. Beside the game I had great fun pitching to the 7 and 5 year old younger brothers as they tired of the game. I got some exercise chasing the balls. I don’t think I had very good pitching stats.

Tomorrow I am off to Lake Pepin, a wide part of the Mississippi River between WI and MN. We will cycle and enjoy the beautiful surroundings. It is sort of like a vacation within a vacation.

I am doing pretty well at living in the moment and not thinking about my next chapter. I have the logo for my website and much of the writing for it is done as well. I hope to be able to engage my brain in a few online courses about Health Advocacy business before I arrive back in Nashville after July 4th. I have been hoping to do this for the past month so I am not holding my breath. I need another rainy day.

I went to school with Ed from 6th grade through graduation. He lived down the street in the town of about 700 people that we grew up in. Ed was one of my brother’s best friends through school and adulthood. Ed contacted me about 2 months ago with a bladder problem following a knee replacement. I helped Ed understand the what and why of his problem and helped him get the care that he needed. It was not the type of problem that would likely have a quick solution so I was in communication with Ed once or twice a week for several weeks as he was managing his problem with the help of a local urologist. Ed liked to cycle and we talked about how good the cycling trails were around Des Moines and we planned on doing a ride together when I was in Iowa He said the best trail was the High Trestle Trail north of Des Moines and he described the incredible bridge on the trial. I was hoping that Ed’s bladder problem would be resolved by the time I got to Iowa for our ride.

About a month ago, a few days after a conversation with Ed, I got an email from my sister-in-law telling me that Ed had died. I couldn’t believe it and still do not understand what happened. I am heart-broken for his family and close friends.

Yesterday I rode the High Trestle Trail for a total of 30 miles and wished I had been able to ride with Ed. It was a beautiful sunny day. Below is a view from the bridge looking south over the Des Moines River.

The quality of the trail was outstanding. Smooth pavement with intermittent shade. The quality of the paved trail is a reflection of how far back from the edge of the trail the trees were planted. There appeared to be no trees closer than 10 feet from the edge of the trail. There was not much shade along the part of the trail that I rode, but it was the smoothest trail I have ever been on – like a newly paved road.

I look forward to returning to Iowa for more rides, however I think I will take riding RAGBRAI (Register’s Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa) off of my bucket list. The ri is always the last full week of July. As much of the ride would be in direct sun with minimal shade along the route, I am not inclined to expose my skin to that much direct sun. I am glad to have ridden in Iowa this past week to gain a better understanding of what I would be facing with RAGBRAI.

Ed’s life ended too soon. I greatly appreciate that he suggested riding the High Trestle Trial. I will return to do it again.