Gilda is Craig’s 57 International Harvester tractor that was replaced with Katie Kiota last December. Getting Gilda ready for a new home has been on the “to do” list since March. Craig brought Gilda back to life after it have been sitting unused for 20 years. It has taken A LOT of work over the past decade to keep her going – including fabricating pieces that could no longer be replaced at a reasonable price. For the past 3 days he has been working to get her in tip-top running order. Sunday, it appeared that Gilda got the best of him when he came in.
I finally got my chance to give Gilda a “spin” on Sunday. The hardest part was getting up into the seat. Craig had it in first gear so all I had to do was slowly release the clutch, steer and brake. Nothing to it. While I am sure with enough time I could learn to use the front loader, I am glad we now have Katie. Hopefully we can find Gilda a new home while the stars are aligned and she is working well mechanically.
Craig and I just passed 14 months of partnership. It has been an amazing 14 months. It has been fun to look back through our photos and see how much life we have experienced together. Last night, after he got out of the shower, he asked me where my flip flops were. I put them on as he invited me to go outside to swing. It was sunset and rather than giving into the voice in my head that was going “don’t do it, the mosquitos will eat you alive” I accepted the invitation.
It was spontaneous, it was fun and it was joyful remembering our early swinging experiences as children. Unbelievably, there were NO bugs out and I did not get one bite. I hope we remember to swing more often.
The terrace we built the end of June looks like it has always been there. I love looking at it and knowing we created it. Fortunately, we have had dry weather the past month and have not lost more soil. Our current plan is to locate some long (20 foot) phone polls and put them along 2 edges of the pasture where the water runs on to our sloping yard and divert it back into the pasture or into a gully along the other edge of the property and AWAY from the driveway. Then we can make plans landscaping and plantings of various sorts to stabilize the slope/soil and hopefully the driveway. There are SOOO many options to consider it is overwhelming.
After the sprint to complete the terrace, we both had some repetitive stress injuries in our hands and wrists so it worked well to minimize strenuous activities outdoors during July and August. That was good for the body but when combined with too much time for politics, not so good for mental health. After visiting friends at Lake Towaway, NC last week, it is time to get back to work.
I was so excited to get my work clothes on and help unload all of the old bridge wood from the trailer. Some of the word will be used for structural needs (hot tub enclosure) and much will be used for landscaping soil erosion prevention. Either way, we do not want nails sticking out of the pieces of wood so before we unloaded each piece, it was inspected for nails and most nails were removed. If they couldn’t be removed, they were pounded in so we shouldn’t injure ourselves.
While the temperature was in the 90’s, the humidity was pretty low so working in the shade was pretty comfortable.
Next I am going to tackle painting the brown living room wall antique white while it is still hot outside and then be ready for deck sanding and staining, deck expansion and landscaping as it starts to cool off.
I have been going to blog for a few weeks but I have so many swirling thoughts and feelings that I haven’t been able to. Since I left clinical practice in 2002, I have followed politics more than ever before. After retirement, I stopped cable in part to separate myself from MSNBC. I stayed adequately informed through online news sources, friends, etc. Craig spent a lot more time monitoring the news than I did until the first presidential debate and then I got drawn in BIG TIME. It has been an exhausting 2 months from the dread that Trump would win the election to the elation of last week’s DNC where Kamala demonstrated she has what it takes to be President. Now we face 2 plus months of hope and fear.
Sunday morning I woke up feeling sad and as I tried to figure out why I came to the conclusion that I was jealous of the relationship that Kamala Harris and Michele Obama had with their mothers. I was so enthralled with both of their speeches. The content and the delivery. OMG.
I was sad because I couldn’t really think of anything my mother said that represented wisdom or guidance. She was a hardworking woman – teaching Kindergarten, going to school for her 4 year degree in the evenings, attending year round sporting events for 3 sons while raising 5 kids. There really wasn’t much time for conversation. I was a astute observer and didn’t really require much direction. I didn’t like getting into trouble so I stayed out of it. We didn’t. I really fight. There wouldn’t have been much to fight about. I didn’t want anything unrealistic and I helped her keep the house clean and family fed. My relationship with my mom seemed pretty similar to what I observed of my friends except for perhaps one or two who seemed to have a fondness for their mothers and shared things with them.
Our relationship changed and perhaps got closer after I had James. I could not have made it through residency without her willingness to be provide as much child care as we needed. One time when James was sick, she took time off from teaching to take care of him, because I certainly was not going to take time off from residency for a sick child. She became a wonderful grandmother at the same time she became an empty nester. While James gave us a comfortable topic of conversation but I don’t think our relationship deepened in any meaningful way. My mother’s mother died when she was in her mid twenties with 3 little kids. From what I understand, her mother was not a warm person. I can only guess that she treated me much as she was treated by her mother.
I am still processing all of the emotions stirred by the convention. We want to take action, but Tennessee is not a place with much of a chance of making a difference. I fantasize that if enough women come out Gloria Johnson can defeat Marsha Blackburn, but Craig assures me THAT is a fantasy. In early October Craig and I will put together a plan of action for supporting the election. We will likely go to a swing state where are efforts will have more of an impact.
In the meantime, I will keep busy with projects at The Garden and try not to spend TOO much on the political roller coaster.
July was a busy month. We traveled to Minnesota and Iowa. July has become the month for my families “Christmas gathering”. We gather for Thanksgiving and then a summer picnic. It is always a bit tricky when parents die to see if the next generation can carry the extended family forward. It helps that everyone is Iowa except for James and I and one niece. Two of my mother’s sisters are still alive, one in memory care and one in assisted living. Half of my nieces and nephews are married with kids and half are not so we still have growing to do. We are blessed.
We curtailed much of our outdoor activities due to heat and the need to rest our bodies after the big terrace build. The driveway made it through 3 modest rains and then a big rain washed it out enough that we needed to do some work again. Much of the water that is behind the terrace was routed back into the pasture but some was just diverted into our yard further down. During a daytime downpour we were able to be out and see that much of what is washing away the driveway is coming from the Magic Forest at the south end of the property. This is where I had so much fun clearing up fallen branches last fall – learning my chain saw technique and improving our view but with unintended consequence of clearing the way for water to run even faster downhill on to the top of the driveway. Next area of focus is diverting water from the Magic Forest away from the top of the driveway with long telephone poles and then planing some vegetation that absorbs water and stabilizes the soil.
We moved some furniture from the condo to The Garden and prepared both places for my brother and sister-in-laws visit. It was a GREAT opportunity to get a lot of stuff done that was on the To Do list but never quite got to the top. As a part of the 3rd floor organizing process, Craig found these two models from his old collection. He had no previous connection to Iowa and does not recall where they came from. The black and gold one is now it Iowa and we have kept the white one that is similar to his old panel truck we have in the shop. How random.
During their visit it was fun to have a small dinner party using my “new” dining room furniture that I acquired from my aunt when she downsized last fall in my renovated condo. During their visit, we went to Broadway for some day drinking; saw the Time Jumpers at 3rd and Lindsey (a must see for anyone that visits); saw Runaway June perform at the Grand Ole Opry and had some downtime watching the Olympics at The Garden. It was a great visit.
In July, I also started volunteering for Alive Hospice – a great not for profit organization out of Nashville. Craig has been volunteering for a while and he is able to use his musician skills to bring joy. So far, I have 2 patients with dementia. One is at home with her son providing most of her care and the other gentleman is in a facility. I can bake and bring treats for patient and family.
Two years ago, my friend Danny asked me if I wanted to go sky diving (tandem) with he and Brent. It was my year of “yes” so I said YES. Hang gliding was something I thought I wanted to do, but sky diving, not so much. For a variety of reasons it did not work out two years ago but it came around again about a month ago. Of course I couldn’t back out now. Craig had skydived in the military so tandem skydiving did not interest him. If he is going to sky dive, he wants to do a solo. The military jumps he did were at much lower altitude so this would be a much different experience – no back pack and weapon.
Two weeks ago, we set out to sky dive but the weather didi not cooperate. After waiting 4 plus hours for the clouds to lift we abandoned our attempt.. NO REFUNDS – just the opportunity to reschedule. We went Saturday. It happened fairly quickly so I didn’t really give it much thought beyond the weather looked good. I just prepared the way I had two weeks ago.
At no time during the entire process did I feel particularly nervous. Rationally, the instructor I was attached to with a very strong harness was very experienced. I knew they didn’t fly in potentially unsafe weather and while there is risk in any plane ride, I had accepted those risks a long time ago.
I gotI about 5 minutes of instructions as the harness was put on: once you get in the plane you sit on a bench backwards between your instructor’s legs. When we are near altitude, he attaches my harness to his. When it is our turn we slide up the bench, stand (in a crouch) and I slide my feet until they reach the edge, The instructor leans forward and you fall out of the plane. Once in the air, you hold the harness at the chest, raise chin and tilt pelvis forward and legs back (banana position). After a few seconds, instructor taps you on the shoulder and you can let arms out to sides and you simply free fall until parachute is deployed. We do a seated landing so my fears about impact on my knees went away. OK – sounded easy enough.
It was exactly that easy. While I was crouch waddling to the edge focusing on making sure my feet were at the edge (they apparently were) because the next thing I knew I was falling through the air from 12,500 feet. It was pretty cold in my T shirt but exhilarating and not at all scary. After what seemed like a long time I felt a jolt up as the parachute was deployed and we floated to a seated landing just like was described.
Getting ready
During and after
As we were free falling the instructor kept looking for me to give him a “thumbs up” so he would know I was OK. Once the parachute was deployed, we could chat. He let me steer it a bit. He asked me if I would do it again and I said I would with my partner. I found out that with Craig’s military experience, he would just have to do 2 tandem jumps and if all went well he would be cleared to do a solo without the usual weekend course.
I would do one more tandem with Craig but next I would prefer to try hang gliding.
My advice – if sky diving is on your bucket list, DO a tandem dive. NO FEAR is necessary.
On July 3rd, we went to Minneapolis to visit friends. It was a lovely day when we arrived. Warm for Minneapolis but perfect for us. We went out for walk with the dog with the goal of going downtown which was across the river from where we were. Melissa was leading the way and when we came to a bridge, she said I have always wanted to take this short cut across the river. It was a rail bridge with one track down the middle and lots of space on either side.. Melissa’s husband (a wise man) had always declined to do this with her.
It was a perfect day and we said why not. We were on Nicollet Island so the bride was not that wide. We got across easily. On the other side we were right next to the bike/walk trail which I had ridden a few times. The problem was that there was a tall chain link fence on either side of the tracks. Melissa thought there was an entrance to the tracks from the street or trail a block our two up. There wasn’t. In retrospect, it would have made no sense to have access to rail tracks in downtown Minneapolis except at a station.
So we had a choice to walk back across the rail bridge or figure out a way around the fence.
Thank goodness we found this gate with enough clearance to get underneath. Not exactly comfortable but the dust brushed right off and we went on with our walk. We did take the longer route back over the regular bridge.
With the completion of the big terrace, our stock of old wood diminished greatly. There are still some telephone poles and railroad ties but most are not in very good condition. When we picked up the 3 telephone poles needed for the terrace posts, the owner also showed us the wood from an old wooden bridge that had been replaced. Craig thought about it for a week and went back to buy all of the bridge wood and some various other pieces. We now have plenty of wood for our rustic terracing, landscaping and other needs that may come up OR just to create something interesting for fun.
After a year, I have learned to ask Craig if his hearing aids are in and working before starting an important conversation. I try not to say things when my back is turned (at the sink) or when he is way across the room and we have far fewer miscommunication. I try not to say important things in passing assuming he will hear as he listens to a lot of things from his phone directly into his hearing aids and needs time to shut that off in order to hear me. For the most part it works pretty well.
Yesterday he was across the living room in the area that has a 3 story atrium when this exchange occurred.
What I said: “We have 2 social things we need to talk about.”
What he heard: “We have Truth Social things to talk about.”
His response: “if you want to talk about Truth Social you can lock yourself in the bathroom and talk to yourself.”
It helps to have random things to laugh about right now.
We started out the terrace project with 2 tomping sticks. One small diameter and one larger. The smaller one had a bit of weight in the bottom but not much. The larger one had more weight which was great for tomping in holes that it could fit which was not that many. On June 17th, we were at a point in the project where we both needed the small tomping stick. Craig disappeared to the shop and came back 20 minutes later with what he called the ‘perfect” tomping stick. It was metal and had more weight in the bottom than the PVC one. This meant it could facilitate packing just by dropping it. I didn’t have to grip it so tightly to pound it down. Craig personalized. the stick
I didn’t really notice much hand soreness until the last day of tomping. A few days earlier I had started crocheting a blanket in the evening. I am guessing the two activities requiring gripping of the right hand contributed to the right hand aching and mild swelling I have been experiencing for the past 5 days. Ibuprofen helps but I avoided practicing the bass guitar because I don’t want to further inflame the joints and tissues.
The blanket is almost finished so once its done I will try to rest my hand for the next couple of weeks and come back to the guitar when I do not have pain. While I am making progress on the guitar, it is slow and I don’t need any negative associations (pain) with practice. I was able to play a couple of songs with Craig pretty well until I started to learn appropriate technique. As I focus on getting the technique right, I have trouble keeping up with the song. Now I spend my practice time doing exercises. Not a lot of fun, but necessary.
One thing is for sure, older joints are not as resilient as younger joints and I am just going to have to be patient . I do not want chronic pain in my hands. I was wearing padded gloves and using wrist braces but with the combined activities, I irritated the joints anyway. Moving forward I will just have to be more careful. We may have a few more post-holes to dig and fill but the need will be spread over time – nothing like what we just did.
Craig took a bit of an issue with me calling myself and excellent “tomper” after one day of tomping and I do have to admit that I learned nuances to the technique throughout the process.
I am now very comfortable stating that I am an excellent tomper who needs to take better care of my hands. When my hands are better, I will prioritize bass guitar practice over crocheting to minimize the repetitive stress injury..
Tamara Unleashed 