To Terry – driving his semi on the highway to heaven

This was written on August 11, 2023 .I just found this post in my DRAFTS and not in the PUBLISHED posts although I have a strong deja vu that I posted it. At the risk of a duplicate, I am posting. Terry was the first of 3 deaths of important people in my life over 5 months. Live each day to the fullest!!!!

Terry was my older brother by 14 months. There are many cute pictures of the two of us with each other and with parents. I suppose we got along well enough when we were quite young but our paths diverged pretty quickly after we started elementary school.

He was gifted athletically, I was not. I was focused; he was not. He was very concerned about what others thought about him and led or followed others down paths that got him into trouble time and time again. He and his friends taunted and teased me at home and at school. I worked hard and got good grades; he skated and passed. I went to college; he became a long distance semi-driver which he truly loved. He spent over 15 years on the road for months at a time – living life to the fullest for a young man without attachments. I had a lot of resentment for how much pain he caused my parents. I didn’t need to make any mistakes because he made them all. We had very little in common.

Terry decided to settle down in his mid 30’s – married and had 2 children. He and his family participated in family events. Somewhere in those years, I began to trust Terry and I let my son travel from Iowa to Seattle with him in his 18 wheeler.

Four years ago, Terry was stricken with Hashimoto’s encephalopathy. He ignored symptoms for several months because he was afraid he would have to give up driving his truck. Once he realized he was not going to be able to return to driving his semi, he saw little reason to live. He has been on a steady slide towards his death which happened today. I am glad I was able to be here to say good-bye.

Over the past 25 years we developed a bit of a relationship – forged primarily through our shared enjoyment of Natalie’s and James music and traveling to their performances in and around Iowa. I was driving his car from Kansas City to Des Moines after one of their shows because Terry had driven all night the night before. About half-way through the trip, he told me I was not a half-bad driver – probably the best complement he could have given me.

Terry had a big 60th birthday party because he never thought he would live to be 60 given how “hard” he had lived his young adult years. I celebrated his 60th with him as I was happy that he had survived his adventures and misadventures. Today, I celebrate the father that he was and I am extremely relieved that he is no longer suffering.

Keep on truckin, Terry.