Today my temperature was “normal for me” for the first time in a month. A very depressing 4 weeks of feeling unwell, being fearful that my body would not be able to fully recover “this time” While I never recovered most of my taste and smell from one year ago which means I do have Post Acute Sequelae of Covid (PASC), I was so happy that I did not have fatigue, heart or lung issues or longstanding brain fog that I considered myself fully recovered. Even though I was not nearly as sick as I was a year ago, the ongoing sense of lethargy and “not giving a shit” were getting worrisome. Today I finished a course of antibiotics for a sinus infection. Is the normal temperature related to the antibiotics or just coincidental? Was this Covid, a different viral syndrome, a primary or secondary sinus infection? No one knows. I do not want to stress my body out with any virus for a long, long time. The only way I can think to proceed is to wear a mask except when I am in my apartment. The adventure continues.
This past week I decided to watch the Sopranos. I have watched the first episode 2 or 3 times over the years and each time I didn’t like it enough to watch the second episode. I am not sure why it seemed important to try to get into this time but enough people that I know/respect really loved the show so I thought must not be giving it a fair chance. I committed to watching it last Saturday and finished it yesterday. When I was a few seasons in, I still did like the show and was going to give it up until a friend said “oh you have to finish and make sure you make it to the last episode.” So I continued to “hate watch” the Sopranos. I am not sure what I was expecting for the ending but I was hoping that there would have been some real personal growth in at least one of the characters by the end.
What did I learn from The Sopranos? it is good to be born into a boring family in the Mideast without a strong ethnic identity. Sociopaths are born and nurtured. Anyone can create elaborate justifications for despicable acts which are then normalized. It is possible to say the right things, do the wrong things and never have any insight into this huge discrepancy. If something sounds too good to be true – it probably is. The show was well done and memorable. It is not something I would ever consider rewatching.
I hope I will not choose to “hate watch” another series. It was a fitting end to this miserable month!
Tamara Unleashed 