To the degree that I ever thought about getting to the point of “not working” it was an empty canvas until the fall of 2018 when I had the opportunity to do a 9 day bike ride on the Natchez Trace from Nashville TN to Natchez MS. The ride was to celebrate the 80th birthday of a dear friend. The average age of the group of riders was 72 and I was the only one still working. I had been cycling for only a year at that point and had no idea how I was going to hold up for 444 miles over 9 days. The advice I got from the woman who sold me my bicycle was you just keep peddling and that is in fact what I did – for 400 of the 444 miles. The trip was life changing for me – and aside from the friendships that resulted from the trip, the biggest impact was the glimpse of a healthy active “retirement”.
So when I realized I needed to leave my role at the NIH/NIDDK, I had a much better sense of how to fill some of my time. Cycling has become the place where I “let go” and stay present in the moment. At the end of rides, I have no idea what I was thinking – if anything. I am thankful every day that I was building overall strength while I was building up miles as without a strong core, I would have fallen many, many more times. I knew I would have cycling to help me make the transition to “not working”. And it has.
I have now had 6 months of not earning money and having very little to structure my life. Much to my surprise I am doing just fine. I thought that after visiting friends and family for the first 3 months I would return to Nashville with a sense of how I wanted to reengage with the work force. That was not the case and even after an additional 3 months of not working, I am not motivated to seek out employment. If the right opportunity presented itself, I could easily jump right back into working but it would have to be the right opportunity.
I am gradually getting involved in activities here – primarily doing things I never had or took the time to do while I was working. I am doing Voter Registration for the Davidson County Democratic Party. My first activity was at the PRIDE Festival the weekend before last. It was a rainy day and the booth was on grass so it was very muddy. I wore vinyl sandals. It was kind of a good idea. I knew I would be able to easily wash them when I got home. When I went to leave the mud made them so slimy and slippery that they would rotate 180 degrees as I was walking which made it very slow going. I had to find a deep puddle to rinse my feet off in so I could walk the half mile to my car.
The day following PRIDE I had my first “build” day for Habitat for Humanity. I have been donating money to Habitat for years and tried to get a build opportunity in MD, but timing was never right. There are generally so many groups volunteering for Habitat “builds” that there are not that many openings for individual volunteers. I am going to pursue training as a “Supervisor on Site” or SOS which will give me more opportunities. The experience was fun and exhausting. I was caulking between beams for energy efficiency. It was a townhouse unit so the walls that are shared between units have to have fireproof caulk which is red rather than white. We were given gloves to use but they were hot and awkward so I ended up using my hands a lot to smooth out the caulk. I was up and down on the ladder many times. I could tell my training to strengthen my shoulders had worked because I did not get tired holding the caulking apparatus above my head. It is hard to appreciate in the picture (because much of the caulk is on the backside) but my clothes were a mess. This is what Tamara the Builder looked like at the end of the experience.
The day was cloudy/rainy and I did not really appreciate thirst while I was so focused on the work and ended up pretty dehydrated.. Fortunately, we only worked a half day because we made great progress and there was predicted thunderstorms in the afternoon. I had significant muscle cramping all afternoon and evening and did not feel back to normal for 24 hours. I will be smarter next time.
I will gradually get involved in other activities that are primarily outdoors and bring value to the community. I have no idea what my life will look like in a year but I feel like I am now in the right mindset to enjoy the journey. My new life may be a constant evolution with little structure and I am getting OK with that.
Tamara Unleashed 