Doctor or Musician – which is harder?

My son chose a very different career path than I did. He was fairly young when I remember someone asking him if he wanted to be a doctor like his mother and he replied with an emphatic NO. He like playing with sticks and wooden spoons when he was young and in grade school he spent hours writing his autograph. He took up drums in middle school and seemed to find his passion. I wanted him to have passion in his career choice as I had with mine so I was supportive of his desire to drum professionally. There were no musicians in my family or his fathers so he, like I decided to do his own thing. As I knew nothing about the path he was taking my ability to be helpful was limited.

While I had no person in my life to guide me on the path to being a doctor, there is a paved highway that will get you to the destination if you can stay on it. It is 4 years of undergraduate college, 4 years of medical school and 3-6 years of residency and possibly a 1-3 year fellowship depending on the specialty of medicine you choose. It is a long road and there are lots of reasons and ways you can leave the road along the way. BUT if you stay on the road and pass exams along the way, you are pretty much guaranteed you will have a career with security.

My observations of my son’s journey is that there is not even a path to follow. You can go to college or not. Going to a university or music school will give you skills and connections but it is not linked to becoming a successful musician. There are any number of ways to reach stardom – from rapid rise from a video gone viral to decades of hard work. Talent and hard work are clearly no guarantee of success – in fact success seems pretty random.

My son went to music school and met a talented singer and fiddle player on his first day in the dorm. She needed a drummer to record a song for a class project and that was the beginning of their friendship and musical partnership nearly 20 years ago. They formed a band and started getting experience in the summers between school years. She was a year ahead in school. She graduated and he left school after 3 years to continue their partnership in Nashville. By this time they were dating. They had to work jobs for less than 2 years. After that they were able to support themselves as musicians. This was pretty remarkable. Some years they were on the road for most of 10 months sometimes out on tour for 5-6 weeks at a time. They loved it. They got engaged and married during these years.

During the same number of years it took me to complete all of my training (14 years) their band got a label and had a single that hit the Country Charts – a HUGE accomplishment. However big this accomplishment was, there was no guarantee that their success would continue and grow. It is a high risk/high reward industry with lack of security of any kind. For me, that would be intolerable. For them, it has been exhilarating and vital to who they were. From my perspective, there does not appear to be anything they have control over that is anyway connected to long-term success.

Which is harder? It depends on what gives you the most joy versus what causes the most pain. I could not live with the prolonged uncertainty as to whether all of the hard work will lead to security. I have tremendous respect for my son and his wife and all artists who believe in themselves enough to continue to follow their passion.

My “transition to retirement” entrepreneurship is about as low risk as it can get. I am hopeful that I can find a “joy to pain” ratio greatly tilted toward joy. My son and daughter-in-law’s ability to survive all of these years in a fickle industry is reassuring to me.

Today was another beautiful day in Hendersonville NC and in addition to some satisfying writing for my website I biked with a friend for her first bike ride since her knee replacement surgery. My legs felt yesterday’s ride on the uphills today. After yesterday’s ride without fatigue today, I am feeling more and more comfortable the Covid is behind me. Yesterday I actually got a hint of caramel so I am pretty sure my taste is continuing to get better.

Tomorrow I will be transitioning to Spartanburg, SC. On Thursday I will attend an intriguing cancer fundraiser – Over the Edge https://app.mobilecause.com/vf/oteu where dozens of persons will rappel down the side of a hotel. I will not be rappelling. I will be supporting my 82y/o friend who would have been rappelling had she not broke both legs while skiing 6 weeks ago. Her granddaughter will rappel in her place. Bless them both.