I introduced KP yesterday in my blog. I was having drinks with KP late yesterday afternoon when the news of the Derek Chauvin convictions was announced. We quietly acknowledged our shared relief. During my many conversations with KP over the years he shared with me what his experience of growing up black in Prince George’s County had been. He was taught how to act WHEN, not IF he had encounters with law enforcement and what some of his experiences were when he did have encounters for driving while black. While I “had heard” of these occurrences from media and didn’t doubt they existed it was powerful to listen to first person recounts. He knew how to act and apparently executed the act well enough that he is still alive.
These conversations were a part of a several year journey of grappling with and gaining a better understanding of inequality, inequity and privilege. The other key players on this journey were the PLUS Research Consortium investigators (https://plusconsortium.umn.edu/) from Community Health and Social Justice backgrounds.
While I understood that my upbringing was not disadvantaged (middle to lower middle class rural Iowa), prior to many conversations with PLUS investigators, I had not thought of it as privileged. I would have thought that having rich parents, an Ivy League education, and a trust fund as being privileged and remote from anything I knew. Over time, I have come to understand that simply being born with white skin is a privilege; having a warm bed to sleep in every night is a privilege; having nutritious food for every meal is a privilege; being expected to go to school every day because that is your job as a child is a privilege; always having employer based health insurance is a privilege.
Understanding racism is very complex. We need to be able to acknowledge that we have all been racists – often unintentionally. Rather than “I am not a racist”, perhaps it should be “I have not been intentionally racist”. Knowing and being friends with a black person does not mean you are not a racist. In 1974, I “dated” a black man from South Chicago my freshman year of college. It was random; it was fun; it was not a act of rebellion because my family never knew. It was not destined to be a long-term relationship because I was not going to let anything get in the way of medical school. He was kind, funny and respectful. He was insistent that the black women on campus did not know of the relationship. I didn’t understand why at the time. I don’t know if our several month relationship was truly a secret on a campus of 3,000 students but I did not experience any verbal confrontations which is what he was worried about. The relationship simply ended very early in my sophomore year. I never regretted it. In retrospect, I wish I had learned more about his world. Perhaps he didn’t want to share more. This relationship does not mean I have not engaged in racist acts or had racist thoughts.
I have no idea if any of my ancestors were slave owners but that doesn’t free me from responsibility for systemic racism that is the norm in this country. From my position of privilege, how can I truly be anti-racist and more importantly help others recognize their own privilege and seek to be anti-racist. We need to own up to racism and commit to doing better. Easy first steps are to stop denying denying systemic racism exists and acknowledge that each of us has been unintentionally racist – start with owning it. Energy invested in denial does not move us forward.
On a lighter note, today is a fairly quiet day for me. I wasn’t sure how much fatigue I might feel after the longer bike ride yesterday. I slept later but otherwise not adverse events. Fortunately it is cool and windy so I don’t mind not biking.
I was able to visit Nails by Tammy where I got my nail care for 8 years and get a pedicure. I was going to get my usual dark color on my toenails but decided on clear as I have no idea when I am going to get another pedicure. The partitions everywhere are weird but did not impact the quality of the service.
Tamara Unleashed 